Ha pretty amusing, try this one!
Hey are you a thief cause someone's just stole my wallet. (instead of cause someones just stole my heart)

hmmm...

My fave from this short and... irregular list.

Jimmy Buffett has an entire (great) (nsfw lyric) song that fits perfectly here:

That would work a lot better if you substituted "A Buddhist Monk" for "Jewish."



Real true story ...

In the nerdiverse pickup lines are different.

Used successfully on me ...

"Compared to you and I most people have the IQ of a carrot."

That's what I call irony.

Lolz
 

Do you work at subway cause every time I see you i get a foot long

"Excuse me, Miss? Does this handkerchief smell like chloroform?"

verrrry funny. That one came up this weekend when I was watching "The Vanishing" with my girlfriend.

We might try it sometime... :)

I had this chick one time (at band camp), she wanted to eat a handful of pills to knock herself completely-the-fuck-out, and then wanted me to video myself doing whatever I wanted to do to her so she could watch it later. Whatever I wanted to do. Her idea.

Didn't go through with it, I started to feel like I was being set up. I mean, she could have said later she didn't want to do that, that I drugged her, raped her while she was unconscious, or whatever. Too many bad possibilities.

:headshake

Smart move, dude, that video would look pretty dodgy.

Whoa. Yeah, big alarms going off. You were right to get far, far away from her.

How's she going to paint your house if she's knocked out?

"...paint my house..."

LOL!