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infinite monkey 11-26-2012 08:58 AM

Thanks. There has been a recent wave of loss in my life and my peripheral life: people I've known for years, friends of the family, a family pet...

I will be very trite in saying that we never know and each day is a gift. But all of this pain and suffering (and also the pain for those of you who are dealing with medical issues) makes me think long and hard about our meaning and purpose: not a good place for my head to be.

Tell your loved ones you love them. Tell them today.

Undertoad 11-26-2012 09:17 AM

Sorry for your loss IM.

classicman 11-26-2012 11:14 AM

Sorry IM. Its been similar for me. Friends and people MY age are dying? WTF?
How can that be? I... I... I... but I don't feel almost 50. :(

orthodoc 11-26-2012 12:12 PM

I'm so sorry, IM. Your advice is good, not trite.

footfootfoot 11-26-2012 12:30 PM

Sorry IM. What Classic said. Once you hit 50 (or in IM's case, the 18th anniversary of her 29th birthday) people begin to drop out of the race or get sidelined. The rest of us gotta keep going.

DanaC 11-26-2012 12:48 PM

Auntie Margeret passed away yesterday a few weeks after being diagnosed with a very aggressive cancer. I wasn't particularly close toher, I've seen her maybe four times in the last two decades. Spoken a few times on Fb. She wasn't my blood relative, and she technically stopped being my aunt when she and Uncle Ron divorced. But...made me feel sad.

She was a nice lady. Life hadn't been terribly kind to her. Nor terribly unkind. But she was a nice lady, and her loss will hit my cousins hard.

The whole thing is so fucking unnerving. What with Stella Christmas before last. Saw my cousins going through it then. Now Margeret. Seeing another set of cousins go through it. It's like something is stalking our parents. Scares me.

Chocolatl 11-26-2012 01:52 PM

Sorry for your losses, infi and Dana. :(

glatt 11-26-2012 01:59 PM


Originally Posted by DanaC (Post 840528)
It's like something is stalking our parents. Scares me.

Exactly. Lost an uncle a couple years ago, and now my father in law is in a nursing home. That generation is starting to drop off. Hope it spares my parents for a while.

DanaC 11-26-2012 04:05 PM

Lost my Dad in 2009 and that was hard, but losing Mum will be like losing half of myself.

It appalls me that the very best case scenario is that I will lose her.

Sundae 11-26-2012 04:34 PM

With Dad having his "funny turns" - still undiagnosed - but more importantly his Alzheimers, I don't know how long I'll have him for either. The real him I mean. He's worried he'll drop dead, we're more worried about what will be left as he lives.

It's been caught early as far as these things go, but there is no reversing the process. Only slowing down.

They've drawn up all the legal papers suggested by the solicitor. Cost 3k.
My brother has power of attorney. In the mean time Dad is still spending money and completely forgetting he did so. He signed up for 3 x cases of wine @ 45 each the other month. Talked into it by a salesperson. No idea when, but they had a record of it. In their defence they weren't out to fleece him, he'd been a member of their wine club for about three years but had agreed with Mum they could no longer afford it. Nice lady on the phone offered him a returning customer deal. He forgot all about it, even when the first case arrived. Genuinely baffled as to why it was sent. Mum cancelled the account, explaining the situation and asked to have them removed from the calling list.

There will be more issues like this, it's true.

May as well share my personal health problem while we're at it.
I have liver damage. Alcohol related. I'm winding down to teetotal but I am on so many waiting lists it's untrue, so I am doing it all alone - no medication, no counselling, no support. That will all come. But things are a bit hit and miss. The good news is I have already made a difference, the Doctor is pleased with my progress and I have lost nearly two stone.

The bad news is I put my job in danger. I think any regular reader here will know how much that means to me. I can hardly believe it either. No children were ever in any danger (I'd have been dismissed immediately - gross misconduct) but I did end up being sent home after a harrowing session in the Head's office.

The good news is I have an Occupational Health* meeting scheduled. And it looks like that assessment (one of the many I have now completed) might be the one which bears fruit the quickest.

* work based mediation/ health/ counselling service.

Right then, it's all out there now.

Clodfobble 11-26-2012 05:08 PM

We all have our skeletons, Sundae. I'm proud of you for valuing your job as much as you do, and for working as best you can to get your health in order.

orthodoc 11-26-2012 05:18 PM

It takes a strong person to face things head on and do something about them, Sundae. I think you deserve a LOT of credit. I hope you do get some support from local agencies or clinics soon - that will make things easier over time. But congrats on taking first steps yourself.

limey 11-26-2012 05:58 PM

Sundae, good for you in making a start on what you have to do even if help is in short supply. You know I'm just at the end of the phone. And beaming supporting thoughts at you front Scotland sell the while. X

Sent by thought transference.

infinite monkey 11-27-2012 09:04 AM

Oh Sundae. We fall down and pick ourselves up, and fall down and pick ourselves seems so difficult at times.

But you know where you want to be, and you're taking steps to get there. You have my respect for that.

Talking, too, about parents: I think about it all the time. My parents are both pretty darn healthy, but as Dana said even best case scenario, some day. And I don't really know how I'll ever get through it. It seems impossible. My dad and much alike. My mom and much alike. My dad lost his best buddy from his whole entire life not long ago, a friend of our family, best man in their wedding, with my parents when they got the call that their first grandchild was born.

I spend as much time with my family as I can. I think not having my own family weighs in identity has always been their daughter, you know?

I don't know, just thinking out loud.

Sundae, keep moving forward, OK?

Sundae 11-27-2012 04:31 PM

Thank you people.
When this all went down I felt quite vulnerable and didn't feel I could share it on the Cellar, where I also felt quite vulnerable.

I'm glad I did now, and I've received more kindness than I feel I deserved.

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