I did a monumentally stupid thing
 

So yesterday, Minifob and I were at the PetSmart getting crickets for the pet tarantula. This is an errand we do every Monday while we wait for Minifobette to get out of orchestra practice, so it's very much a deliberate time-killer. As it happened, they were sold out of crickets, so we ended up wandering around the store, and discovered the kitten section where apparently they still sell actual kittens.

And they have a little room where you can play with the kittens if you think you might buy one. And Minifob begged to be allowed to. And the store guy let him. And Minifob was absolutely smitten.

Now, we did not buy the kitten. My stepson is very, very allergic to cats--like horrific skin rash and anaphylaxis allergic--so it's not an option. But I am a profound sucker for my children when they get doe-eyed about something. Because their life is frankly kind of shitty in ways other kids don't have to deal with, and I don't go overboard "making up for it" in an unhealthy manner, but when I get a chance to give them something special I do my best to do it. I decorate our house with Christmas lights every year, for example, even though I'm a genetic bah-humbug and it's a royal pain in the ass, because it makes them happy.

ANYWAY. I really, really, really don't want a dog. I have emotional baggage from having to scoop the poop of my shitty stepfather's dog all the time. But I know it would make the kids astoundingly, squeal-inducingly happy. And normally I can just kind of block that hypothetical image from my mind, but now I have actually seen my son get that way about a kitten, and I can't stop thinking that this is it, I've been broken, we're going to have to get them a dog.

Ideally, it will be a poodle/chihuahua mix with hypoallergenic hair that's several months old and has already been potty-trained. And the fact that I'm typing all that out means I've already thought about it waaay too much. Dammit.

When they whip out those doe-eyes, they've gotchya by the gotchya.

Hey everybody! Clobfobble's getting a dog!

I'm coming back to Texas so I can pet your dog!! When should I book my flight?

Do they have like, puppy rental programs? Where we could go and play with puppies every day and then give them back?

Sure, give your neighbor a puppy for Christmas.

You can volunteer to be a dog walker for an animal shelter--this is a real thing. But it's a scam, because it is known that the dogs will bamboozle you. They have evolved, literally with the express purpose of tricking you, a human, with emotions.

Whatever you do, choose from a dog rescue or the local SPCA or the like; do NOT buy from a breeder or the classifieds or Craigslist.

Personal experience talking here. Also, a Shih Tzu or Lhasa Apso is a good choice. Adorable, small, cheap to feed and not a lot of exercise needed. I would recommend a boxer due to very short hair, not much dander and very child-friendly, but the slobber and energy to burn might overtax you. And the poop. That too.

The Boston Terrier is the smaller, manageable version of the Boxer. That is my own personal theory. I love the Boxer, but they need exercise.

Awwwww!


This thread makes me happy!

Dude, just pet them at the store each week. That way they'll stay young, cute and fluffy too

Just say if you get a puppy now you won't be able to get a pony later. ;)

Not to diss rescue dogs in any way - Mum took on a dog from a rescue organisation and she's wonderful - but I have to add some balance:

My own experience of buying from breeders is very positive. Both my beardies have been bought direct from the breeder. You just need to do the research and be aware of potential pitfalls.

there are potential pitfalls - but that also goes for rescue dogs. The problem with rescue dogs though is that if you take a dog on and then have to give it back you are potentially traumatising that dog who may go through several potential homes before being taken on for real - each time they go off to a prospective new family and then get sent back the dog's confidence takes another deep hit and makes it more likely they will have separation anxiety or other issues that wil make it less likely they will be able to successfully integrate into the nxt family.

As for boxer: they have short hair but they moult. If allergies are a problem stick to double coated dogs, and preferably poodle type dogs.

warning note: poodle mixes are often sold as hypoallergenic but there is no guarantee that the pups of a poodle and other breed will have the poodle's hypoallergenic fur. You have to be very careful with the '-doodles' if that's your reason for buying them. make sure if you're going that route that you go for a line that has stabilised (third or fourth generation) with hypoallergenic fur.

Scotties are hypoallergenic, are they not?

I love my dog, just sayin'.