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-   -   What's upsetting you today? (http://cellar.org/showthread.php?t=14114)

Griff 08-06-2007 06:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fargon (Post 371777)
I just realized that I am a wimpy assed loser. Rather than call the police I am going to do nothing and save up for a master cylinder for my car. And just let it go, I just don't want any more trouble.

Sounds like me just trying to go along to get along with the edu-crats. I probably should go to a lawyer for damages but I just want to teach.

DanaC 08-06-2007 07:03 AM

Shouldn't have to fight so hard just to live your life.

What happened with the edu-crats Griff? I must ha'missed that.

Griff 08-06-2007 07:18 AM

I've apparently wasted a year+ of my life following the directions of my certification officer at school. In that year I spent most of my time driving or in classes telling myself it'll all be worth it because I'll have my certification in hand. Now I've been put on a new path to certification and have no idea how it'll turn out.

DanaC 08-06-2007 07:56 AM

Oh that sucks, Griff. I hate when the goalposts get shifted on you like that :(

Griff 08-06-2007 08:01 AM

Thanks Dana.

Cloud 08-06-2007 08:24 AM

it's Monday.

fargon 08-06-2007 08:25 AM

I get to see my Psychiatrist on the 17th of this month, and a new Counselor on the 31st. It has been decided that I am not a threat because I was not trained for "combat". I guess I should have joined the Army.

bigw00dy 08-06-2007 11:06 AM

My 21 year old brother(who still lives at home with my mother) is addicted to prescription drugs has now entered his next "phase" of his addiction. He now is stealing money from my mom and two younger sisters!
He is at the point where he can not afford his habbit.

It is like a am watching a live version of Intervention.

It is making me sick ;-( and there is almost nothing I can do to fix his problem.

Me being the oldest sibling, I have always tried to "fix" everything. I feel like my hands are bound.

On a side note.....This is the 1st time in my short 25year existence that I heard my mother cry. .

TheMercenary 08-06-2007 11:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bigw00dy (Post 371884)
My 21 year old brother(who still lives at home with my mother) is addicted to prescription drugs has now entered his next "phase" of his addiction. He now is stealing money from my mom and two younger sisters!
He is at the point where he can not afford his habbit.

It is like a am watching a live version of Intervention.

It is making me sick ;-( and there is almost nothing I can do to fix his problem.

Me being the oldest sibling, I have always tried to "fix" everything. I feel like my hands are bound.

On a side note.....This is the 1st time in my short 25year existence that I heard my mother cry. .

I have seen that situation go from bad to worse. He does need intervention and help at an inpatient facility. Good luck

DanaC 08-06-2007 12:31 PM

Woody, that's a horrible situation to be in. I have very little practical advice to offer, but I would perhaps suggest you do a little research into the subject of addiction, seek medical advice on what you as a sibling can/should do to try and support your brother. Do not, however, make yourself responsible for his decisions. You cannot 'fix' this. Nobody can, all you can do is offer support and love, whilst protecting yourself as best you can from the emotional fall out.

Good luck m'dear.

wolf 08-06-2007 01:51 PM

The answer is one that your mother will not like and will not follow through on.

Kick his ass out of the house and have him arrested for the thefts.

He loves the drugs more than he does your family.

yesman065 08-06-2007 02:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wolf (Post 371936)
The answer is one that your mother will not like and will not follow through on.

Kick his ass out of the house and have him arrested for the thefts.

He loves the drugs more than he does your family.

I couldn't bring myself to say it, but I'll agree with it wholeheartedly! Send him packing - period. Tough love!

xoxoxoBruce 08-06-2007 02:24 PM

Amen.

bigw00dy 08-07-2007 06:04 AM

Wolf, you about summed it up. I know it will take tough love. But I think she is becoming a glutton for punishment. When I talked to her last night, she sounded emotionally drained and was talking as though he learned his 'lesson'. Which I know he has not!

But I guess when your standing in shit, you can't smell it.


I am in the process of emotionally breaking away. I can def. see this type of situation affecting my family; i.e. my wife and kids, and I don't want that to happen. I just need to wash my hands of this situation and come to the realization that my mother is an enabler and I cant controll it.

But it is hard to detach myself, but he is no longer the 'brother' I grew up with

Thanks for listening to me vent!

Griff 08-07-2007 06:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bigw00dy (Post 372267)
I can def. see this type of situation affecting my family; i.e. my wife and kids, and I don't want that to happen. I just need to wash my hands of this situation and come to the realization that my mother is an enabler and I cant controll it.

That is the way to do it. Control what you can control.

Clodfobble 08-07-2007 12:06 PM

It's looking like minifob#2 is going to be as difficult to get going as minifob#1 was... :mecry:

Deuce 08-07-2007 03:02 PM

It is a conspiracy.

I know, as a mother, you have eyes in the back of your head. But you need ears in your ankles to hear them whispering their plots to one another. That's why it's a good idea to get down to their level as much as possible.

And remember, never raise your hand against a child. It leaves your groin unprotected.

Deuce 08-07-2007 03:34 PM

The heart has its reasons that reason knows nothing of. -- Blaise Pascal

elSicomoro 08-07-2007 03:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Perry Winkle (Post 371769)
I'm afraid the person I am isn't good for anyone, I'm afraid of being rejected and judged. I can be fairly harsh and abrasive sometimes. The thing is this suppressing myself is what ends up casting me out.

Everyone's different, obviously, but I went through times like this occasionally...and still do. What I've found is that if you're happy with yourself, the rest follows. If you're not happy with yourself, fix it within reason. If it can't all be fixed at once, be patient and take the small victories when you can.

Shawnee123 08-07-2007 03:55 PM

Today: Verifying FAFSAs
Don't people keep copies of tax stuff? In most cases shouldn't W2s match the freaking first line of the tax form?
Isn't it possible that, when filling out the FAFSA, if it says "if you filed a
1040A take the number from line 36" that you should take the number from line 36? Not decide they must mean line 35?
Does it make sense to guess at "child support received" on both the FAFSA and the verification worksheet and guess two totally different numbers?

These are rhetorical questions. I know the answers. I know mistakes get made. But the sheer number of corrections I have to make is amazing. I've been doing this for over five years and I still find myself mumbling: where in the FUCK did they get that number? It all results in more work on our end, (as we are required by fed regs to resolve ALL conflicting information,) more work on the student's end (who now has to go to the appropriate agencies and get documentation,) and more time for them to find out their final eligibility (which is usually blamed on us,) so no one wins.
But, I'm a bit OCD and am always really careful when filling things out. Like, I wouldn't leave "are you male" blank, prompting a selective service mismatch. I would double check my SSN so as not to get a SSA mismatch...on and on.

Done venting! ;)

Deuce 08-07-2007 04:02 PM

FAFSA filler-outer here.

those things are a bitch. Having all the data on hand before starting is impossible. so you start anyway, get partway through, then ahve to stop and go look for the docs with the answer. sometimes, the search is not successful for a while. dinnertime comes and goes. the weekend comes and goes. Involving the children/students in their own paperwork is another challenge.

bottom line: they're complicated, necessary, difficult, important, and rare. That's a deadly combination.

Shawnee123 08-07-2007 04:10 PM

True to all. That's why we have numerous sessions (and every friday for two hours) to help people fill them out. Guess how many people show up?

Of course, I've seen millions of them, but really , if you take your time they're fairly self-explanatory. Some families have very unique situations which are confusing, but the most of it is demographics (name, address, etc) and tax forms (with line numbers given.) The ABC worksheet worries most people, but I always tell them not to sweat it too much. If you've never heard of it (like black lung benefits) you probably don't have it. For the other ABC items that don't have line item guidance (child support paid or received, Social Security benefits) if you do the worksheet ahead of time you know you need a number there and you get it THEN go online with all the info right in front of you.

But I do understand the hectic family thing. Still, if you know it's important and that you are supposed to report correctly (just as you are expected to do for the IRS) you don't do it until you have the answers. Also, remember in the future that 1/3 of all apps are selected by the Dept for verification. You'll have a much easier time if you know you filled it out right the first time.

We are willing to help any student from any school with this. Most FA administrators I know across the country will, as well. Also, the hotline is always there.
:) THanks for the filler-outer perspective. It gave me a chance to maybe help educate on the process.

Drax 08-07-2007 04:24 PM

The new door that my step-father put up. I started to let my dogs in for a while, so I go to unlock the door. I unlock the deadbolt...easy. I try to turn the knob, but it won't budge. WTF? I think "There must be two locks." cuz there's a littlle twist thingie on the knob, so I try to turn it, but my Cerebral Palsybic hands can't even grab the thing. :angry:

I'm gonna have to get my folks to show me how to deal with those locks B4 Friday.

Also, IMHO, Copiah County Human Resources handicap bus service should ask people they hire if they have a problem with dogs (I'd rather not have to explain my situation this one).

Deuce 08-07-2007 04:49 PM

Quote:

Guess how many people show up?
guess why I didn't show up?

School is 3000 miles away.

I hate that thing. My wife hates that thing. It's misleading. The first time we filled on out, we got a string of numbers at the bottom, I thought it was an account code. Nope, it was our "expected family contribution". I almost passed out! Yah, rite. We can swing that. If we stop paying rent and eating. It was ludicrous.

s123, you have a talent, like freakin Rainman, to cope with those forms on a regular basis. You may not even be human, I don't know. But I have personally had my ass kicked by them. I'm not railing at you, never. but the form, it really sucks..It's really hard, the stakes are high, emotions are high, money is low, just a fucking hassle, class A hassle.

Thaanks for letting me (and by extension, my wife) vent.

xoxoxoBruce 08-07-2007 05:08 PM

1 Attachment(s)
Quote:

Originally Posted by Drax (Post 372536)
The new door that my step-father put up. I started to let my dogs in for a while, so I go to unlock the door. I unlock the deadbolt...easy. I try to turn the knob, but it won't budge. WTF? I think "There must be two locks." cuz there's a littlle twist thingie on the knob, so I try to turn it, but my Cerebral Palsybic hands can't even grab the thing. :angry:

Drax, get these.
They are great, really, I got some for my Mom and she loves them. She can even turn it with her elbow if her hands are full.
I kept one for my bedroom closet door too because it was a small knob and always hard to turn.
Just soften it a little in warm water and slip it over the knob. That's it... no shit... that easy... they don't slip.

Deuce 08-07-2007 05:09 PM

Awesome xoxoxoBruce!

Thank you! My mom will love them too! Thank you.

Ibby 08-07-2007 05:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Clodfobble (Post 372423)
It's looking like minifob#2 is going to be as difficult to get going as minifob#1 was... :mecry:

But it'll sure be fun trying...

bluecuracao 08-07-2007 05:50 PM

I should be happy, because I had a job interview today. I was a little nervous and excited beforehand, of course, and had spent a lot of time making sure I was prepared--portfolio updated, forms filled out, what to wear, etc. etc.

I got to the place, met the guy, started the interview, and realized part-way through that my interviewer was extremely hungover.

He even almost fell asleep a few times.

I'm not entirely sure he was aware of half the things we talked about.

sigh.

DucksNuts 08-07-2007 06:26 PM

Clod - Vitex Agnus!!!!! Get it into to you.

Shawnee123 08-08-2007 07:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Deuce (Post 372542)
guess why I didn't show up?

School is 3000 miles away.

I hate that thing. My wife hates that thing. It's misleading. The first time we filled on out, we got a string of numbers at the bottom, I thought it was an account code. Nope, it was our "expected family contribution". I almost passed out! Yah, rite. We can swing that. If we stop paying rent and eating. It was ludicrous.

s123, you have a talent, like freakin Rainman, to cope with those forms on a regular basis. You may not even be human, I don't know. But I have personally had my ass kicked by them. I'm not railing at you, never. but the form, it really sucks..It's really hard, the stakes are high, emotions are high, money is low, just a fucking hassle, class A hassle.

Thaanks for letting me (and by extension, my wife) vent.


I never said the methodology was fair. Try being one of our students who is single, no dependents, and makes 15 grand a year and gets no help. They get screwed worse than anyone.

I was trying to help. I am human. I administer a program that I don't always agree with, but am bound by law to uphold the integrity of. I get my ass kicked on a daily basis by people like you who don't like it. But we try to help. Your school was 3000 miles away? Did I not say FA administrators all over the country hold help sessions, and meet with students regardless of school? It is a public service; and we try so very hard.
Let me ask you this: when you are determining eligibility for federally funded (read: taxpayers, OUR, money) programs (including relatively low interest student loans) why are you miffed that you might have to do some work to get it? Has everything been handed to you on a silver platter? Also, I find that students who find doing the forms tedious and unfair to be the students who don't excel because they don't like to do the work. I'm not saying this is true about you, but you have to see that this process is important to the whole education thing. It is also important because, as I'm sure we all know, there are a lot of system players in the world.

What sort of hoops do you jump through to buy a house, or a car? Certainly an education is just as important and worthy of the effort.

Where specifically were you stumped? Seriously, I'm interested in what part of the form kicked your butt. If it wasn't something that could be explained with a little extra effort or a quick call to the nearest FA office or the help line, I get the opportunity to propose changes to the form every year. Your input could be quite helpful. In the meantime, you can always PM me with questions. I am also bound by law to keep all information private.[/

LabRat 08-08-2007 09:00 AM

I can deny it no longer. I am allergic to our guinea pig. As I feared it seems to have gotton worse with no exposure for 10 days while we were on vacation. Last night while playing with her in my lap, I got hives on my arms and legs. #*<%. I have never gotten hives before, ever.

Not sure who this is going to be harder on, me or the kid. My husband is jumping for joy. Turd.

DucksNuts 08-08-2007 07:24 PM

I have serious g-string issues today.

xoxoxoBruce 08-08-2007 08:04 PM

Not all they're cracked up to be?

DucksNuts 08-08-2007 08:13 PM

They may be a little too up the crack, to be comfortable :)

I'm now free balling....or whatever we decided it was called.

xoxoxoBruce 08-08-2007 08:17 PM

Going commando.

Perry Winkle 08-09-2007 07:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DucksNuts (Post 373043)
I'm now free balling....or whatever we decided it was called.

You've joined the Labia Liberation Front.

Shawnee123 08-09-2007 08:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DucksNuts (Post 373025)
I have serious g-string issues today.

Try turning that little knobby thingy.

barefoot serpent 08-09-2007 09:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LabRat (Post 372783)
I can deny it no longer. I am allergic to our guinea pig. As I feared it seems to have gotton worse with no exposure for 10 days while we were on vacation. Last night while playing with her in my lap, I got hives on my arms and legs. #*<%. I have never gotten hives before, ever.

Not sure who this is going to be harder on, me or the kid. My husband is jumping for joy. Turd.

are you sure it's the pig? what are you using for bedding material?

DanaC 08-09-2007 11:33 AM

That's a good point. I had a similar thing with guinea pigs when i was a kid, and again with rabbits. Was ages before we figured out it was the bedding not the critters. Can't recall what bedding it was. I think it utilised hay/straw of some sort.

yesman065 08-09-2007 11:43 AM

try cedar shavings

barefoot serpent 08-09-2007 03:30 PM

*gasp* see her shaving?


we can only hope...

LabRat 08-09-2007 04:21 PM

*snort*

A co-worker mentioned the bedding possibly being the culprit. Cedar and pine aren't supposed to be good for small animals...the aromatic oils or something naturally in the wood is supposed to be bad for them. I accidently bought pine this last time, but now it's used up, so with the next cage change (and a good cleaning) we'll see if going back to the original stuff I bought helps any. Just in case, you'se guys who gamble in stocks might want to see who makes Benadryl...

barefoot serpent 08-09-2007 04:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LabRat (Post 373454)
you'se guys who gamble in stocks...

the recent volatility is enough to give me hives...:thepain:

DanaC 08-09-2007 05:01 PM

Quote:

you'se guys who gamble in stocks...
As opposed to those guys, who gambol in socks...

barefoot serpent 08-09-2007 05:05 PM

'scuse me... can you toss that pair of dice for me?

http://stronghold2.heavengames.com/cpix/jpg/stocks.jpg

Cloud 08-09-2007 05:08 PM

not enough sleep last night (because I stayed up too late reading) so I feel crappy this afternoon. :(

DanaC 08-09-2007 05:19 PM

*sighs* I am low today. I went out with my friend for a drink after a meeting last night (the friend I've mentioned before, the one I am head over heels in love with :P). I haven't said anything to hm about the way I feel, because I am not sure where he's at on the whole getting involved thing. So I did a little digging in my conversation with him.

Ha. I know where he's at, I spent the last 5 years happily detemined to remain uninvolved. Of course, that's before I spent several months working closely with a friend of 3 years, and then unexpectedly fell in love. He's still in that place, y'know. He's had a girlfriend since his divorce, but he ended it after a year, because she 'wanted to be number one in his life' and that place is occupied by his son. Since then he's been studiously avoiding getting involved.

I knew some of this already.

Thing is, there may come a time, when someone will flick that switch with him, and he'll want to get involved...like he flicked that switch with me...but, clearly, it hasn't happened yet, therefore it isn't me that'll change his mind on this.

So, I am trying to get my head around it and just try to stop seeing him in that way, just try and continue being his good friend, cause having him as a friend, well it isn't nothing y'know?

I am just a little devastated though, by the realisation that it ain't ever goin to be. I don't fall in love easy or often...I've never felt so drawn to a person, my entire life. I'll get over it. But it sucks.

Shawnee123 08-09-2007 05:34 PM

You don't know you won't be the one to flip his switch. Sometimes people absolutely don't want to be involved, BUT, they wake one day to a flipped switch.

You're a great person. Just keep being his friend, enjoy that, and who knows what could happen?

DanaC 08-09-2007 05:41 PM

Quote:

Just keep being his friend, enjoy that, and who knows what could happen?
Good advice. That's kind of where I'm at...but I have to very forcibly let go of that as a possibility (for now), because right now it's driving me crazy.

DanaC 08-09-2007 06:03 PM

Oh..and I want a cigarette. I really, really want a fucking cigarette. I was doing okay on the not smoking thing, I even stopped using the nicotine gum after the second week, but today I've wound myself up and now I really, really want a cig.

HungLikeJesus 08-09-2007 06:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DanaC (Post 373502)
Oh..and I want a cigarette. I really, really want a fucking cigarette. I was doing okay on the not smoking thing, I even stopped using the nicotine gum after the second week, but today I've wound myself up and now I really, really want a cig.

Hey, Dana, it's nice being almost in your time zone. I'm on vacation this week and must have missed that you were quitting smoking. I hope you can hold on, resist the temptation, and overcome your addiction.


Good luck.

DanaC 08-09-2007 06:13 PM

Actually, I think that's the first I've mentioned it. Which is unusual for me. Usually when I stop smoking, its all I can talk about for the first few days at least :P

Griff 08-09-2007 06:20 PM

Look, you've got the oral fixation for the smokes and a perfectly decent guy on the next bar stool. Maybe flint should draw a picture... just saying...

DanaC 08-09-2007 06:30 PM

Could he make the picture look like my friend? :P

Shawnee123 08-10-2007 08:56 AM

My hair won't stay out of my face today and it's driving me freaking bonkers.

Shawnee123 08-10-2007 12:02 PM

Today I am happy, sad, happy, sad, happy, sad. I am so frustrated and yet hope-filled. Thrilled and scared. Rollercoaster madness. Argh...can someone give me advice without knowing what the hell is wrong? Just....blah!:apickle:

LabRat 08-10-2007 12:21 PM

Try these.

Deuce 08-10-2007 01:43 PM

my silent phone

DucksNuts 08-11-2007 05:10 AM

I wrecked one of my mag wheels. WAAAAHHHHH


Some dumbfuck driving a Ftruck tried to pull out into traffic in front of me and I had no where to go but into the concrete tram island.

DanaC 08-12-2007 03:26 PM

Yah, boo sucks to fucking Summer. There....that clear enough? Mum (who lives half way down the hill from me)* went on holiday yesterday morning for a week...two of my best friends (my ex and a mutual friend who is now his new girlfriend) went to Prague this morning for five days. My friend, from earlier in this thread, has gone to ground (I think he's probably in Tyneside). I've also been trying to get hold of another friend and comrade for past two days, just found out this aft she's in fucking Nice.

Y'know, I can go days without seeing people and that's fine...but knowing that hardly any of the people I might normally phone (or be phoned by) for a chat, or call in for a coffee, are around, all of a sudden all I want is fucking company. Go figure.

Hate this. Been fighting off this 'left behind' feeling all fricken day. I knew it was comin actually, because mum and the two J's I knew were going away. Bollox. I do quite well by myself unless I know I don't have a choice but to be by myself at which point I am rubbish at it. Probably doesn't help that I'm already borderline depressed to start with (seriously limits the people I'd voluntarily interract with at the best of times). Been doin the whole manic to on the floor, and back to manic again roller coaster all frikken week. And wouldn'y y'just know this weekend would be a slow one in the Cellar.....why? Because everyone's out enjoying the Summer.**

Thank God for Sundae Girl, that's what I say, an hour long phone conversation helped ground me. I don't mean an hour of me saying how pissed off i am : An hour of just normal chit chat.

* I live at the top of the hill, in the center of the village; halfway down the hill lives my mum; at the bottom of the hill live my brother and his family, and my friend/ex. Seriously, it's like at some point my living arrangements took on a nursery rhyme aspect.
**Yes I know... I live in a beautiful part of the country and have a dog and therefore ample reason to be out enjoying the Summer, and indeed I have done precisely that for portions of the day, but right now I'm wallowing in self-pity, so bleh.


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