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Divorce -- The Soundtrack
Music is universal.
I am especially sensitive to the lyrics of songs, sometimes it feels as if the radio or the stereo has come to life and is speaking directly to me, usually about what is most on my mind at the moment. Sometimes it speaks aloud what my subconscious cannot articulate. The stronger the feelings, the louder the voice. The cacophony these days is deafening. Here are the tunes (and lyrics) that reverberate in my head and my heart. Wipeout -- The Surfaris Quote:
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This one always gets to me:
Fleetwood Mac Landslide I took my love, I took it down Climbed a mountain and I turned around I saw my reflection in the snow covered hills till the landslide brought me down Oh, mirror in the sky What is love Can the child within my heart rise above Can I sail thru the changing ocean tides Can I handle the seasons of my life Well, Ive been afraid of changing cause Ive built my life around you But time makes you bolder Children get older Im getting older too Oh, take my love, take it down Climb a mountain and turn around If you see my reflection in the snow covered hills Well the landslide will bring it down If you see my reflection in the snow covered hills Well maybe the landslide will bring it down |
Hubby and I had a laugh over this song when our friend would come over, lamenting about his ex-wife, yet again. (they tried to get back together but he expected her to do all the work of repairing his infidelity...*rolls eyes*)
"She Hates Me" by Puddle of Mud Met a girl, thought she was grand fell in love, found out first hand went well for a week or two then it all came unglued in a trapped trip I can't grip never thought I'd be the one who'd slip then I started to realize I was living one big lie She fucking hates me trust she fucking hates me la la la love I tried too hard and she tore my feelings like I had none and ripped them away She was queen for about an hour after that shit got sour she took all I ever had no sign of guilt no feeling of bad, no In a trapped trip I can't grip never thought i'd be the one who'd slip then I started to realize I was living one big lie [Chorus] that's my story, as you see learned my lesson and so did she now it's over and i'm glad 'cause i'm a fool for all i've said [Chorus] la la la la la la la la la love Trust la la la la la la la la la love Trust and she tore my feelings like I had none she fucking hates me |
The Radiohead album 'OK Computer' always gets me. The song No Surpises, even now I can't listen to it. If I do I just...sob. That album was on my playlist during my most unhappy time. The last year and a half of the relationship was a slow death. To love someone and not be in love with them hurts. The overwhelming sense of guilt almost, but not quite overshadowed by feelings of resentment....which then takes you back to guilt. Feeling like you're one of the lost ones. I sometimes just sat on the edge of the couch, alone thinking "I want to go home" knowing I already was....and knowing it wasn't really home. I think I just wanted to be 10 again.
More than any other song, 'No Surprises' seemed to catch that mood for me. The lyrics alone don't show why...it was the combination of the lyrics and the melody and the singer's delivery. I'm sat here typing and even just thinking about that time and that song, playing it through in my head..I'm fighting tears. No Surprises A heart that's full up like a landfill, a job that slowly kills you, bruises that won't heal. You look so tired-unhappy, bring down the government, they don't, they don't speak for us. I'll take a quiet life, a handshake of carbon monoxide, with no alarms and no surprises, no alarms and no surprises, no alarms and no surprises, Silent silence. This is my final fit, my final bellyache, with no alarms and no surprises, no alarms and no surprises, no alarms and no surprises please. Such a pretty house and such a pretty garden. No alarms and no surprises, no alarms and no surprises, no alarms and no surprises please. |
Lyfe Jennings - The Phoenix
Goodbye Sometimes makin up is easier than breakin up We believe if we just fake it enough We can trick our selves into believing that we're still in love But in our harts we know that it's inevitable Though it's hard to let you go I know I must Sometimes memories just ain't enough Sometimes you out grow the ones you love Sometimes it's none of the above It's just the fact that people change No one's to blame There ain't nothin that stays the same So we sit around and cry Because neither one of us wants to be the first to say Goodbye Sometimes givin 2nd chances is easier than dealing with the fact that Once the trust is gone you could never get it back But your holdin on because your afraid of bein alone So here you are holdin on to somethin thats already gone And don't act like it's the first time you've heard it in this song Cause your heart done told you all along If your momma done showed you right from wrong No thing should hold you down this long There's no one to blame nothin stays the same So we sit around and cry because neither one of us wants to be the first to say goodbye So let me be the first to say...goodbye |
Living Colour--"Broken Hearts"
I see the fragments of the dreams I used to have And bits of aspiration lying in the sand The stained glass wall of love that I cannot see through Provides the only light here in my lonely room A breeze reminds me of the changing time and place A tear that takes forever rolls down your timeless face I hear that they say that broken hearts will mend But when they do they're never good as new I wish right now I could change it back I never meant to do the things I did to hurt you I never really thought that it would come to this Sometimes the things you lose are often the things you miss I see the reason for things I used to do They're all transparent now and so I see the truth I hear they say that broken hearts will mend But when they do they're never good as new I wish right now that I could change it back I know you don't believe but I care about you And I never meant to do those things I did to hurt you |
Your Good Thing (Is About To End) -- Lou Rawls
I don't have to beg you to hold me, Somebody else will. You don't have to love me when I want it, No, 'cause somebody else will. Some kind friends say you don't need it... But all the time they're trying to get it. Look out, your good thing is about to come to an end, Your real good thing is about to come to an end. All those nights I watched the four walls I did not have to watch them all alone When other girls said they wanted me, baby, I didn't have to tell them I was your very own You have all the love that I've got Even ice melts to water and gets hot... look out... Your good thing is about to come to an end, Your real good thing its about to end Getting myself back together Is gonna be a big problem I know, But when the right woman says she wants me, Boy, You can bet I won't tell her 'No' 'Cause your real good thing is about to come to an end Your real good thing, your good thing Baby Good thing, your good thing, your good thing Baby |
Pardon -- The Robert Cray Band
(Intro) I hear him when he weeps and moans I've even seen him shed tears For after taking those wedding vows That didn't last many years I've seen him walk the streets alone In the wind and rain cold and weak Help the poor man save his heart Take him in, make him neat And grant him a pardon Grant him a pardon from love The people talk when he passes by And they don't seem to care The pain he hides down in his soul That they don't want to share If he could turn this world around He could be like you and me Help him break these chains of love Help the man go free And grant him a pardon Grant him a pardon Grant him a pardon from love (guitar solo) And grant him a pardon Grant him a pardon from love He's guilty of nothing that I can think of, oh no So let's not convict him He just happens to be a prisoner of love So if you're out on that lonely street And by chance pass him by Don't rush to judgement or put him down Cause you could be that guy Someone could take your heart to school one day And that would surely change your plans And all the things you think you know Now you understand And grant him a pardon Grant him a pardon Grant him a pardon from love All you got to do is Grant him a pardon Grant him a pardon Grant him a pardon from love Grant him a pardon, baby Grant him a pardon from love Just grant him a pardon From love Won't ya (guitar outro) |
Always Suffering -- The Rolling Stones
(Jagger/Richards) Let's take a walk Just you and me And talk of days gone by Across the fields Under the trees Let's speak of you and I While the whole world Was wandering We walked a steady line When all our friends Were wavering We kept on trying Now we're always suffering Already lost Always suffering Already lost Remember when On summer days I would sing a lovers son How you would smile Shower me with praise And the sun shined on Now the rain is falling slow And the nights grow long And the train Cries out so hauntingly She is gone Now we're always suffering Already lost We're always suffering Already lost Please take these flowers Smell the perfume Let your soul come alive Let there be hope Hope in your heart That our love may revive For life is but a chance On a wind swept hill And the seeds of love Are swirling above Let them be still But we're always suffering We're already lost Always suffering Already lost |
Deuce, I have been reading your posts and havent commented, because I am on the other end of this trip. I have just served my ex....
Anyways, this is the ultimate break up song... Where I Stood - Missy Higgins I don't know what i've done Or if i like what i've begun But something told me to run And honey you know me it's all or none There were sounds in my head Little voices whispering That i should go and this should end Oh and i found my self listening Cause i don't know who i am, who i am without you All i know is that i should And i don't know if i could stand another hand upon you All i know is that i should Cause she will love you more then i could She who dares to stand where i stood See i thought love was black and white That it was wrong or it was right But you aren't leaving without a fight And i think i am just as torn inside Cause i don't know who i am, who i am without you All i know is that i should And i don't know if i could stand another hand upon you All i know is that i should Cause she will love you more then i could She who dares to stand where i stood And I wont be far from where you are if ever you should call You meant more to me then any one i've ever loved at all But you taught me how to trust myself And so i say to you, this is what i have to do. Cause i don't know who i am, who i am without you All i know is that i should And i don't know if i could stand another hand upon you All i know is that i should Cause she will love you more then i could She who dares to stand where i stood She who dares to stand where i stood. |
My First Night Alone Without You -- Bonnie Raitt
There is an aching in my head From the bed I can’t get used to It’s these little hours in the dark, I dread As I spend my first night alone without you Honey, half of me has gone away With all the love I learned to cling to Tomorrow I’ll have to find another way To live the rest of my life alone without you You taught me how to live How to be myself And how to give Oh, but now it’s you Who’s given up on giving You’ve lost the thing, no one to teach Changing and now you’re out of reach And my life tonight just don’t seem worth living No, no I’ve been sitting learning how to read Cause back in school I never liked to It’s just one of those little things I’m gonna need As I put my life together, baby, without you |
My mother sang this song to me when I was a baby. I sang this song to my son when I held him, when he was a baby. I know the song is about two adults, but the chorus applies to anyone. And I hear it and it makes me cry.
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My sunshine is definitely gone.
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I am sorry, so sorry, so sad. Hard to say, harder to hear, hardest to forgive. Please accept my apologies. I offer them without any strings attached. I hope you accept them, they're yours to do with what you see fit.
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