what life decisions have you made today?
 

i had a rent in mind for my own, because i'm a special snowflake and only i make important decisions about my life that are of any interest... but you know, just in case other people do it too, i figured it might be a nice addition to these sort subject-specific community-tweet threads.

so what life altering decisions have you made today?

nobody? i knew i was special! alright, so here goes:

i have decided i want a profession that:
1. is well above minimum wage.
2. can be worked in within teams and independently.
3. can be worked in online no matter where i am in the world.
4. can be worked on while masturbating with the other hand.
5. i have a lot of ideas in and could make it into a hobby even when i move on to other professions in the future.

following that, i decided i am going to take a professional course in application development for iphones (apple framework C++), android (Java), and cloud apps (html5). i met with and passed the entrance tests for a few colleges, and no i am trying to decide which one is better, which is somewhat difficult because i have not studied anything since high school and have no idea what to pick from.

a longer period with less hours a session or shorter period with more hours a study session? the one that looked more organized and well established or the one more accessible by less buses? the one that focuses on what i want to study more first before moving to the topics i am less interested in? the one that's about 7% cheaper cheaper and will free off my credit card payments about a month faster? the one with the hot receptionist or the one with a better looking logo?

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in the mean time, i am moving to an apartment in the buildings my mother owns, so i can live in the city where those colleges are at, get involved more with the family business, live in the city where there's a lot more job opportunities then where i am right now, and a lot more social opportunities, which hopefully mean a lot more dating opportunities...

...really, the whole thing is just leading to money and sex. but you know, sex with someone you like as a person and want to hang out with wouldn't be so bad...

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i have found out that just because my exwife won't let me send my stepson money into his RESP (university-fund) account, doesn't mean i can't open one myself - for his name, even if i am not a canadian, simply because he is. its going to take some string pulling, but i can do it fully legally.

i don't think i can do or say anything to change the way she feels about anything, and without doing so i might not be able to be there for him and give him everything i want him to have, but this i can give him regardless of how she feels, and it sucks that its all i can do, but its the reality and its time that i face it.
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as far as my exwife goes, i made the simply realization that i don't want her given who she is currently demonstrating herself to be - right now her actions contradict her prideful claims, she is not meeting the expectations i have once believed her to be able too, and i am falling out of love. i am not a doorslammer or a drawer of unnecessary lines, i do not block out information which is relevant to the basis of my decisions.
and as such, within the boundaries of fairness (reverse golden rule), respect to my liberties (no blackmail, threats or violence), and respect to my loyalties (both her own son and who i am with at the time), she is free to interact with me anyway she wants, free to share with my her internal processes and show me that my understanding of her has being wrong about her if it is or if she grows as a person and it becomes so.

I am going to the doctors tomorrow.
Coughs shouldn't be this debilitating after a month.
I've been keeping it at bay with a range of over-the-counter medicines, but if the underlying cause is still there then it really should be dealt with before I go back to school next week.

Okay, not life-changing; I'll just be given a prescription for anti-biotics I can't afford.
But the less I cough, the easier things will be at home.
Mum complains every day about me waking her up, and has started sleeping in here (the computer/ spare room) again.

I gave up trying to save Molar and had it pulled yesterday. What a violent experience. the CRACK it made when he broke it was most alarming.

DO NOT PUT YOUR CAREER AHEAD OF YOUR LIFE.

Actually, what is all this "career" nonsense? Why would anyone want one? It's just a made-up word to suck us into voluntary slavery.

I will sell my labour to acquire currency to exchange for the necessities of life, rather than trying to be fully self-sufficient. This will not be the source of meaning, satisfaction, or joy in my life - for most people, that is too much to expect. But I insist that it not get in the way of the meaningful, satisfying and joyous things I will do outside it.

You're right Zen. Dazza and I were discussing the kids a couple of days ago, and he said he wants them to focus on their careers. I was quite surprised by this statement and suggested that since they're only 14 and 15 at this stage, that he might be putting the horse before the cart and that they might not even want to have careers. Maybe they just want to shovel shit from 9 to 5 then have the rest of their lives to themselves. Sure it'd be nice if they could do something they love and feel inspired to do, but that doesn't happen to everyone. Not even to very many.

I then went on to suggest that if he's concerned they're not doing enough homework - which to me was a valid point - perhaps he should talk to them about restricting their extra curricular technology.

All I ever wanted was to be a Mum, so I guess I'm living the dream. Sometimes it's a bit more like a nightmare, but mostly it's pretty rewarding. I've put a lot of myself into my chosen 'career'. I've shed blood, sweat and tears for it. I've rejoiced in the highs and grieved during the lows. Now I'm starting to reap the rewards as the kids grow older and have become respected members of their peer group and are admired by their elders for their maturity and consideration for others.

Yes, I think so far my career is pretty successful.

I still can't wait for retirement though. lol

That might be a long wait, Ali!!

Retirement from motherhood - you're doing it wrong, preggers-girl. ;)

I lawled :p

Turns out I was right to go to the Docs. Am now on steroids and have a chest x-ray appointment this afternoon.

He was concerned at my symptoms given I am not asthmatic or a heavy smoker.

It won't be life changing, I am confident the Doc is just covering his arse (he more or less admitted that in different words).
I read up on the dangerous symptoms last year when I was in a similar position. I have none of them. But I'm not averse to double-checking in case it's lupus after all.

I'm glad you went. Good luck girl.

Yeah, well done that lass.

I know that radiologists can't say anything to patients, but as she let me leave the hospital on foot with the vague advice to contact my Doctor in the next week, I'm assuming I'm not consumed by a strange new strain of TB or anything.

She wouldn't have let me leave with a broken arm for example.

On the downside, I was so relieved I went on a spending spree. Grocery orientated of course. And it was hardly caviar and blinis. But £30 later, hammering it into non-existant spaces in the cupboard, I feel it was perhaps comfort buying. I'm fine for soup, tuna, noodles and spices for the next three months as it is.

I read somewhere that we make tens of thousands of micro-decisions, each and every day, that have lasting impact on the shaping of our character.