Badger Epiphany
 

Had a sort of stand up for myself breakthrough last night. Homegrrl was opining about me and my failure to make her life teh fluffeh and I suddenly realized I didn't have to go into ignore mode to preserve my mind so I just said, "You know what? I don't really care what you think of me and I'm not interested in listening to your opinion of me, my life, what my problem is or what you think I need to do."

"If you'd like to talk about yourself, I'm happy to listen and would be very interested."

So then she started in with "I feel disrespected, taken for granted, taken advantage of..."

and I interrupted her and said, "You're actually still talking about me. You're saying 'I feel disrespected by you, I feel taken for granted by you... If you want to talk about you and your problems, faults and weaknesses I'm happy to listen, but I don't really care, at all, what you think about me."

It may seem really obvious to some of you, but this is new territory for me to just tell someone that I don't really care to hear what they have to say, w/o getting angry or emotional or feeling like I need to fight back or give as I get.

It seemed to work.

So, w00t 4 m3 and my l337 relationship skilz

:bravo:

:)

l337?

Sorry, I meant to type L337

L337?

Your mate Dani can 'splain it or you can http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leet

If you don't stand up for yourself, nobody else will either.

Good for you foot.

I knew me some leetspeak. Just didn't recognise that one (like, the basic one!)
In my defence I's always seen it as l33t.
I've even used it in passwords that require numbers.

Still, colour me pignorant and paint me purple.

Do you mean she actually started talking about her own problems, or she just STFU? Just wondering what level of success we're talking about here.

I'm guessin the latter. That's what I called success with my ex.
(half kidding at most)

Just a quick catch up for me because I'm a doodle head.

foot, are you and homegirl still together? I thought you were not any more?

I go to school for years to learn this shit, and people just up and do it?

Where's that Walmart application?

This sounds like the beginning of the end, one way or the other.

Or maybe the middle of the middle, come to think of it.

mostly STFU and a tiny bit of hers but mostly my mind was relatively unmolested.

Ali, we're still married and in the house. There have been ups and downs of togetherness but mostly I have given up and my attitude is to keep working on my thing and let her do hers and see what happens. But not really "trying" anymore. It's time for her to take some steps towards the middle of the middle.;)

Well, there's the sudden school of enlightenment and the gradual school. hard to tell them apart though once you get to that point...