Car, Car, C-A-R, Stick Your Head
 

In a Jelly Jar!

We were talking today about songs and chants we used to recite as kids and regional variations.

Jingle bells, Santa smells...
etc.

What do you recall these many years later?

jingle bells, batman smells, robin flew away
Kojak lost his lollipop so he ate a Milky Way

Jesus Christ, Superstar,
Wears frilly knickers and a see-through bra
Did a skid, Killed a kid
Chopped of his knackers on a dustbin lid

My boys sing a song about blowing up their teachers on the school bus to the tune of 'on top of old smokey'.

Ours was a bit different.

Jingle bells, batman smells, robin laid an egg
Batmobile lost its wheel and joker takes ballet (hey!)

On top of spaghetti, all covered in cheese
I lost my poor meatball, when somebidy sneezed
It rolled off the table and onto the floor
and then my poor meatball rolled out of the door
it rolled into the garden, and under a bush
And then my poor meatball was nothing but mush.

my kids sing a bloody version of "dashing through the snow"

...but thankfully they're in bed now, so i can't ask them for the lyrics

It's been a few years since I heard my kids sing their version, but I think it goes like this:

Dashing through the snow,
on a pair of broken skis,
o'er the hills we go,
smashing into trees
ow, ow, ow
The snow is turning red,
I think I'm almost dead.
I woke up in the hospital,
with stitches in my head.

Joy to the world,
The school burned down.
And all the teachers cried!
We're looking for the Principle
He's hanging on the flagpole
Swinging by his underwear,
Swinging by his underwear,
Swi-ing-ing by-y-y his un-der-wear.

We three kings of orient are
Tried to smoke a rubber cigar
It exploded, we reloaded
Now we are on the moon

Joy to the World,
The teacher's dead
We barbecued her head!
Don't worry about the body
We flushed it down the potty
And round and round it goes
And round and round it goes
And ro - und, and ro - und and round it goes.

As I was walking down the street one dark and gloomy day
I came upon a billboard and much to my dismay
The sign was torn and tattered from the storm the night before
The wind and rain had done it's work and this is what I saw:

Smoke Coca-Cola cigarettes, chew Wrigley's Spearmint beer,
Ken-L Ration Dog Food keeps your wife's complexion clear
Simonize your baby with a Hershey's candy bar
And Texaco's the beauty cream that's used by all the stars.

So take your next vacation in a brand new Frigidaire
Learn to play the piano in your winter underwear
Doctors say that babies should smoke until they're three
And people over 65 should bathe in Lipton Tea.

We're like a modern Brothers Grimm, getting all these folk songs into print.

I see stars, I see Mars,
I see someone's underdrawers.

Great big globs of greasey slimy gopher guts,
Dirty little babies feet,
Mutilated monkey meat
And me without my spoon
But I had a straw
(sluuuuurrrp!)