Confession Time
 

I have been considering doing this for a while and now seems as good a time as any. I know that a few of you (maybe more than a few) know my "dark" secret.

Yes, in another lifetime I was a member of the Cellar under the name "Marichiko." I got banned and, for the most part, I deserved it. This was what? Seven years ago? I forget.

I will only say this much about Marichiko. It is true that shortly before she (I) joined the Cellar, I suffered a prolonged episode of anoxia (lack of oxygen) due to carbon monoxide poisoning which did adversely effect my thinking and my emotions. I was angry often; I was paranoid a lot; and I was always afraid. This combo did not make for very wonderful posts here on the Cellar. I was pretty crazy at times and struck out against a lot of people. While the reasons for this were mostly organic, I take full responsibility for my actions and I apologize to all here.

Some time after Marichiko got banned from this site, I began to get competent medical help. I also began to get help from the system I had raged against so much. I am working on qualifying for rehab services and I even have been able to go back to work on a limited level.

Now, I could hardly come back as Marichiko. I had to come back under a different user name and hopefully prove that I am not the provocative, semi-hysterical person I once was. SamIam has been around for over 4 years and has made over 2,000 posts. I have engaged in no major controversies that I can think of, other than exhanging barbs with UG and Merc.

I enjoy the Cellar. There are many thoughtful, funny people who post stuff that is often amusing or enlightening or both. I would like to stay on. However, I don't want to intrude where people don't want me.

I apologize for coming back under a different user name, just as I apologize for my actions as Marichiko. I leave my fate here up to you Dwellers.

Oh, and PS: I did not see this thread until I had already written this post. http://cellar.org/showthread.php?t=26083 Really. ;)

Well, howdy!

Wow.

Not trying to get involved in something I know nothing about, but why did you wait 4 years/2,000 posts to come clean? Why now?

Sam, who cares? What I mean is...I know you NOW. I like you. I wasn't here for any of that stuff so it's none of my business anyway (yeah, admittedly it was good for a chuckle when you were just a 'name') and I suppose that's something other people who know nothing about it should be thinking too.

I'd like to see more confessions, because it's obvious so many are not coming clean. (ETA) Who cares who you are, if you're honest? That is admirable, for you to want to let people know, but I think it will only matter to either 1) someone who had a real issue with mari, or 2) someone who likes drama.

I don't care why it took you 4 years/5 billion thousand posts. OK?

Sam You Am, You Am Cool, in my book. Real, at least...which is so much more than so many here can say (and 'say' they will...absolutely 'nothing'!)

But I hope you feel better about it. Me? High Five me kiddo. (I can call you kiddo because we're BOTH so old.) ;)

I already said I wasn't trying to stick my nose in something I know nothing about. All I did was ask a simple question. If she didn't expect any questions or comments I'm sure she wouldn't have made the thread. I didn't mean any harm and I hope she didn't take it that way.

Wow Sam, from what I've heard about Marichiko, I would say you had them all fooled. Marichiko was set up to be the ultimate way to describe a crazy poster.

Congratulations on your rehabilitation. I think its great that you came back and proved yourself.

Sam, let the past remain there. I appreciate you coming clean though.
I joined the cellar right before Mari (treating like a different poster) got banned so I really don't know ALL the history.
You are who you are now and I think you are a benefit and an important contributor to teh Cellar.
Good for you on getting better. Your punishment is to post more :)

Thank you to all who have replied so far. You have been most kind.

@BrilliantDisguise - As I mentioned in the OP, I felt the need to establish a consistent track record as a "non-crazy" person. A few months just wasn't going to get it. While, I don't feel I was especially hurting the vast scheme of things as SamIam, I had started to get PM's from certain people who suspected who I really was. At that point, I figured, why lie? The truth is usually better.

hey, I bet that's a load off, huh?

Glad you're here. I'm sorry about how I acted way back when too. wanna make out?

i mean UP!

Well, I was fooled. I had no idea Sam was Mari.

We have had a few people kicked out of the Cellar or chased out of the Cellar who have come back and tried to fit in again. Usually they don't succeed because the old personality inevitably comes through.

It's pretty clear that Sam/Mari has pulled it off. I'd like to continue thinking of Sam as Sam, because Mari was a loon.

Actually, she has posted pictures of herself under both names; so, she wasn't exactly incognito. She simply avoided having to rehash her story for every newb by waiting on the announcement until she felt she had sufficiently developed a favorable history here. It was a judgment call.

All of what IM said...

Well, it's pretty obvious in hindsight. But I had no idea.