Thanks for your support in this difficult time :p

I am compensating by imagining what would have happened if the moose had found, not a buffalo statue, but the giant Pikachu ...

Lots of men compensate by imagining things that are just never going to happen. It appears that you're no exception. ;)

To which I can only reply: :p !!!

(Oh, and Mills and Boon novels are all that different, are they?)

no, they're not very different at all. In fact, I can explain the whole plot of any one of them to you right now.

Did you know that all the authors have a formula that they have to follow?

Err, I was trying to communicate that women's imaginings were similar to men's, but perhaps with a little more plot and fewer identical-twin-Swedish-exchange-students-scenarios.

Not that M&B are all much the same.

I think you may have had enough wine now, ma'am.

yes I know that's what you were doing, and I was just agreeing with you.

god you're annoying. lol

By M&B's formula it is now inevitable that we will eventually get it on :lol: .... hope your hubby doesn't mind! :shotgun:

so, back on thread ... I'm what's upsetting you today, huh? :(

No, you haven't annoyed me that much. I wouldn't say you're 'infuriating' which is a prerequisit for a M&B romance. Hubby probably wont mind too much since you live in another country.

You're entertaining me today. I probably should talk to you in another thread.

*sighs* The two Js have fallen out. Had a screaming row and are both now upset. He's been prickly as an old army blanket just lately and picking fights with everyone. I can see him sabotaging good friendships and a good relationship and it really upsets me. I know him better than anybody else, but that means I also know it's pointless trying to get him to see what he's doing. He is absolutely adamant that the aggression, or hostility, or lack of respect etc comes from them first. Any attempt to calm him down and get him to see that his good friend hasn't just started raising their voice at him out the blue for no reason, just makes him feel that you are taking their side, and are just not seeing what he's had to put up with. Cannot see his part in provoking those reactions in people, goes off feeling like the whole world's against him, and that now even his friends don't like him...*heavy sigh* which is of course not true.

Had a text convo with her and haven't spoken to him yet. She clearly understands where he's coming from, but that doesn't make it any easier at the time the row erupts. Having lived with him for 12 years I know the patterns of those rows. She tells me her side of it it's like hearing myself talking to mum back in my 20s. Want to hug her. Want to hug and slap him.

It's worth a try...
Ah well, perhaps it's all for the best. You can't stop other people from making their own mistakes anyway.

(male) J is spiralling down. I don't know how far he'll go. He walked out on her today after picking a further fight. She knows what it's about, as do I. Something from his past he thought he had finished dealing with has reared its head. Complicated, family stuff. Ihaven't seen him like this for....god nine years maybe? It isn't like when we were splitting up, this is a deeper, much older pain.

He won't talk to her about it. Said there's no point, left her in a state and went home. he is trying to deal with it I know, by removing himself from everybody that matters so he can't hurt them whilst he is getting to grips with his issues.

Damnit, he'd got away from this. Found a way he could reconcile himself to the past. Now he's fucking back in that place again. Breaks my heart. Breaks my heart to hear my friend Female J, so wildly upset she is hyperventilating, and can't actually talk when she's phoned me.

I talked her down. I think. She knows what he's dealing with. Butthe whole thing sets off nasty resonances with an old relationship and the hurts she suffered there.

They'll sort it out. But I hate knowing that she's heartbroken and he's in hell.

Wow Dana...Is this your ex-husband?

Ex-partner. We're the same age and we lived together from 18 - 30. He is my oldest and dearest friend. His girlfriend is my closest female friend.

I just wrote a long and involved reponse with yet another anecdote....ok...that's twice.. now it's three times...Jesus...I will just say that I am on the receiving end of that kind of situation like female J.


Just don't let her (female J) think that anything about it is her fault, or the cycle continues. She probably didn't even trigger it. No sense in creating new ghosts while just trying to let go of the old.

Well...I'm going to try and keep it in mind myself.

The going is about to get tough.

*nods* that's pretty much been my tack.

Thing is...I used to be the one dealing with that and this has sent me back to places I didn't want to be.

Fuck. Fuck this feeling of utter helplessness in the face of his overwhelming pain.