You know, now that I think about it, I don't even really come out and ask about sex.
A kiss, a cuddle, a nuzzle, a caress...if she is receptive (whether she knows or not) I can usually tell and progress from there.

My lady (of 8 years now :mg: ) and I are very in tune with the others feelings as far aggression levels, intimacy desired, top/bottom leanings etc.
She is the most compatable partner I've ever had. The first person I've been with who is completely non-judgemental about sex play.

And she can be nasty, bless her little heart. :blush:

As far as chicks on chicks, I don't understand why there aren't more lesbians. The female form is so much nicer to look at, touch, explore...if I were a women I'd definitely be gay. Men are just smelly and hairy.

Hm...I'm the "toybox" type. Everything from massage oils to feather boas to kathy's kuffs. I'm all about surprise...having a child without her own bedroom, in a small house, makes it a little more difficult, though..

And it's gotta be reciprocal. It's no fun if only one person is the one to start it all the time. I have to agree with Stacey about that. I don't mind starting it now and then, but sometimes you just want to feel irresistible and get chased around the house...

And guys, foreplay--good foreplay ("wanna fuck?" is NOT foreplay, incidentally)--is probably the best thing in the world to do if you want to get attacked as the stud that you are... *grins*...and cuddling afterward will gain you LOTS of brownie points.

Silent--men are SUPPOSED to be hairy. I just so can't be attracted to a man without body hair. I don't mean someone whose back hair needs to be cut with garden shears or anything--but men are supposed to have, like, hairy legs, hairy arms, and chest hair, and all of that good caveman stuff.

(Ray Stevens) ...He had hairy boots, hairy legs, hairy arms, hairy chest, hairy chin, and a hairy hat--shaped like a big bullet, with horns comin' out the sides. His mama named him Erik cause she couldn't spell "AAAAGGGHH!!"(/Ray Stevens)

Incidentally, I read an article once that said that hairiness in men was linked to intelligence. *shrug* Who'd've thunk it?

The only time I ever ask is usually on the "First times." And it's not like I'd ever come out of my face with, "Excuse me, would you like to have sex?" Though I could see myself doing that in a humorous way.

But even if I've been with the person for a while...if I want to do something/have something done and "suggest" it, and I get a verbal "no," then "no" it is.

I like toys, but only once in a while. We don't usually include them on a regular basis. We like to read good erotic porn sometimes. We will read it to each other.

lookou123 said how many children older? some (not all) seem to get the "i'm a mother now, i can't do that" syndrome whether they realize it or not.

what - just because you are a mother now you can't have sex on the hood of a car anymore?


3 all at home :(

Send them out for pizza and a double feature. :)

so is the issue a lack of time, a lack of desire, or a general feeling of repression (what i call the "i'm a mom" syndrome).

my wife and i had to deal with the "im a mom" thing for awhile. it was completely subconscious, but that is what it was. respectable mommies don't _____________. apparently they do, because things are generally good again. time permitting.

It's difficult with kids in the mix. By the time we get the kids to bed and the kitchen cleaned up, we are both exausted. Then you need to have some comfort level that the kids are actually asleep. When we are finally sure the kids are asleep, our own energy levels are really low. We're tired. We're more likely to just want to go to sleep ouselves. Kids are great birth control devices, cause they just wear you out.

Also, you lose the spontanious sex. It's after the kids go to bed, or not at all.

Anyway, I'm not getting it as much as I'd like to. Twice a month when I'm lucky. But when it happens, it's great.

I wanna thank all you parents for reinforcing my decision to be childfree. :)

We usually wait until nap time or something and lock the door, being really quiet...there's night time, too, but like you, we get tired by the end of the day. That spontaneous stuff is underrated. I wish we had it sometimes.

Yeah, yeah. Well, at least we have our own personal slaves by the age of 8 or 9. :D Er...wait...no, it's me that becomes a personal slave. Nevermind.

my son's 4th birthday is two days away. afternoon naps grow more and more scarce. this makes me grumpy because our prime time for sex has been for the 1-2 hour naptime. nighttime is mainly for quickies due to the drooping eyelids. this knowledge makes me even more grumpy.

my assistant actually commented the other day that i seem to be taking long lunches more often these days. trying to get while the gettin's good.

Give your son a couple of Percocets...that should knock him out real good.

I said I'm a toybox kinda gal...never said I actually get to play anymore.

I'm all about a good massage, though....Kama Sutra oil. I highly recommend it.

"No" doesn't mean "no" when the girl is laughing and smiling and teasing you.
If she says it in a serious tone, then take it as "no"
You can tell when she's just saying it to get attention or tease you, or she really means it- it's pretty easy.

As far as the first few times you're with someone, yeah, you should err on the side of caution and take it as a "no"...

My husband has a pretty low emotional intelligence IQ, but he has no problem at all differentiating between my fake "no"s and real "no"s.

And I hate scewing with the lights on- dim is okay, but I don't want my husband staring at my ass while he's behind me if I feel that I'm having a bad ass week- I get a dimple on it when I retain water from pms.

The only times I have ever been able to screw with all the lights on and stare in someone's eyes and act like an actress in a porn flick, were with cheap, shallow sex only very short "relationships" when I knew it meant nothing and I didn't care how the guy felt about me.

So, the fact that your wife is self conscious means she loves you and cares about what you think :)