May Polll (aka the meaningless monthy quiz)
 

1) If you had a huge pet spider, what would you name her?
2) Rum or Vodka?
3) What's your last thought as you close the door behind you when you leave the house each day?
4) Would you rather deal with a child learning the violin or the recorder?
5) What was the last thing that made you gasp with surprise
6) Brown or white bread for toast?
7) Your favorite word that rhymes with boot?
8) Chillin' on the porch -rocking chair, swing chair or hammock?
9) How far back can your first name be traced?
10) iphone or android?

1) If you had a huge pet spider, what would you name her? Fly Girl.
2) Rum or Vodka? Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of ...
3) What's your last thought as you close the door behind you when you leave the house each day? What time I am actually leaving.
4) Would you rather deal with a child learning the violin or the recorder? Recorder, no strings attached.
5) What was the last thing that made you gasp with surprise? TLA;DR (Too long ago, don't remember).
6) Brown or white bread for toast? Wheat.
7) Your favorite word that rhymes with boot? Chute.
8) Chillin' on the porch -rocking chair, swing chair or hammock? Rocker.
9) How far back can your first name be traced? Roman times.
10) iphone or android? Android.

1) If you had a huge pet spider, what would you name her? Her name was Aria, per the kids. The current one, who may yet get big if we don't kill it, is named either Anansi or Harvey, depending on which kid you ask.

2) Rum or Vodka? If I have to pick, vodka with orange juice.

3) What's your last thought as you close the door behind you when you leave the house each day? What's my next task after the kids are at school--gym, grocery store, duck egg pickup, etc.--and do I have the appropriate accessories in my hand for whatever it is?

4) Would you rather deal with a child learning the violin or the recorder? Violin. At least I can pretend it might have long-term value.

5) What was the last thing that made you gasp with surprise? Seeing my daughter's name on the charter school lottery list.

6) Brown or white bread for toast? No.

7) Your favorite word that rhymes with boot? Coot.

8) Chillin' on the porch -rocking chair, swing chair or hammock? Hammock

9) How far back can your first name be traced? To the one-inch margin.

10) iphone or android? Android 4 Lyfe!!!!11!1!!

(Alternately, the answers to all of these could be "insomnia fucking sucks")

3) What's your last thought as you close the door behind you when you leave the house each day?

Do they want to fire me?

4) Would you rather deal with a child learning the violin or the recorder?

Johnny rosin up yer bow and play yer fiddle hard

1) If you had a huge pet spider, what would you name her?
Boris
2) Rum or Vodka?
Captain and Captain and Captain and Coke.

Or a gulp of Vodka out of the freezer just before bed

3) What's your last thought as you close the door behind you when you leave the house each day?
Should I have pooped?

4) Would you rather deal with a child learning the violin or the recorder?
Violin without question. The initial pain will someday be replaced with actual music
5) What was the last thing that made you gasp with surprise
does a 'D'oh!' count? then it was me doing the math wrong. Goddamn Pythagorean theory.

6) Brown or white bread for toast?
Brown
7) Your favorite word that rhymes with boot?
I am Groot!
8) Chillin' on the porch -rocking chair, swing chair or hammock?
Porch
9) How far back can your first name be traced?
at least as far as the King James Bible can
10) iphone or android?
Android. Iphones are ghey

1) If you had a huge pet spider, what would you name her? Charlotte. 2nd choice, Octavia.

2) Rum or Vodka? Vodka.

3) What's your last thought as you close the door behind you when you leave the house each day? Do I have everything I'm supposed to have?

4) Would you rather deal with a child learning the violin or the recorder? I would rather deal a live, angry, venomous snake.

5) What was the last thing that made you gasp with surprise[?] My mother. I turned around, and there she was. I mean, like, right there. I did the full body jolt & gasped. Almost swallowed my tongue.

6) Brown or white bread for toast? White. I prefer wheat bread for sammiches, but, I don't like it toasted.

7) Your favorite word that rhymes with boot? Salud.

8) Chillin' on the porch -rocking chair, swing chair or hammock? Porch swing.

9) How far back can your first name be traced? To at least 1942. Named after me Pop.

10) iphone or android? Tracfone. (Yeah, I know, but, it works for me.)

1) If you had a huge pet spider, what would you name her?1) goth crotch
2) Rum or Vodka?2) rum, dark but not too dark
3) What's your last thought as you close the door behind you when you leave the house each day?3) wait I forgot [insert item] repeat x3
4) Would you rather deal with a child learning the violin or the recorder?4) yikes
5) What was the last thing that made you gasp with surprise5) handjob torture
6) Brown or white bread for toast?6) n/a marble rye
7) Your favorite word that rhymes with boot?7) c y o o t
8) Chillin' on the porch -rocking chair, swing chair or hammock?8) swing chair / glider
9) How far back can your first name be traced?9) as a name? 1960? (Louis L'Amour)
10) iphone or android? 10) android with a HEADPHONE JACK