FUCK YOU, Pandora
 

Piece of shit.

Aw. Come on, you still have hope, don't you?

I mean, Jesus Christ, I bought a $5 cassette-tape to mini-jack adapter, on a whim, thinking, hey, I can stream from my iPhone to my 2002 Honda. And yes, that's fine, you can do that.

This is cool, I brushed the dust off of my Pandora stations from 2009 and made a few new ones. All is cool, installed the desktop app, subscribed to the upgraded compression rate. Fine, fine.

Problem #1: Want to click on the desktop app to get more info on a band or song, fine, it opens the Pandora webpage. THE FUCKING PLAYER IS INTEGRATED INTO THE WEBPAGE AND YOU CAN'T TURN IT OFF. You can pause it, but EVERY TIME you open a new page THE PLAYER BLASTS OFF AT FULL VOLUME. NO, IT DOES NOT REMEMBER YOUR LAST VOLUME SETTING.

NO IT FUCKING DOES NOT REALIZE THAT YOU HAVE THE GODDAMN DESKTOP APP ALREADY GODDAMN OPEN AND PLAYING--THAT IS WHERE YOU CLICKED ON THE LINK TO OPEN THE FUCKING PAGE.

SO NOW YOU HAVE 2, 3, 4 MOTHER-FUCKING STREAMING MOTHERFUCKERS BLASTING OUT GODDAMNED NONSENSE ALL AT THE SAME FUCKING TIME. E V E R Y TIME YOU ARE CURIOUS ABOUT THE BAND OR SONG THAT IS PLAYING.



Okay, so I learn to deal with my browser and whole computer freezing up for 45 seconds every time I'm curious about music. Oh, and it forgets you are logged in, randomly, about 5-10 times per evening. Fine, whatever, it's still playing cool music. Fast forward to tonight.

The webpage won't load at all, freezes up my whole PC to the point where I have to reboot it, but lo and behold the desktop app is logged in and running just fine. I'm fucking actually paying money for this shit.

Apparently someone over here has discovered a virus so large you just about need a knife and fork to ingest it...scientifically speaking. They called it pandora.

I use Spotify on my desk top. Pandora on my phone thru the motorcycle speakers.

It's called the off button.

so's yer face

I don't get it.

You have an something called Pandora...you opened it up, and now you're bitching ?

Go tell it to Zeus !

Zeus put all the evils of the world in the box, and at the bottom he put the most perfidious of all.
Epimetheus's bird, Pandora, was the villain of the piece - always the woman! - and let them all out just to satisfy her womanly curiousity. She was created by Zeus for this purpose.

And so we live in suffering and ignomy and shame.
And how can we tolerate it? Because the last thing out of the box was hope (or foresight was retained in the box, depending on the translation.)

Nothing to do with technology. Just saying, don't trust the Greeks. Or women. Or Gods.

But Sundae, you haven't finished the story.

What was the one thing left in the box - on purpose !

Eh? Chicken bones?

Hope was at the bottom of the box when it was opened.
Zeus put there because He knew it would be.

Yes, Sundae. Even back then, Zeus understood women
and presents marked "Do Not Open..." . ;)

(My wife still secretly opens X-mas presents, and then re-wraps them ! )
It's a long held family secret that everyone, even the kids, knows about.

Hope? The Devil, you say!

First, make a hole in the box ...