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monster 10-05-2007 10:47 PM

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SG said her family like good bruise pictures, so post yours.

here's mine:

Clodfobble 10-05-2007 10:50 PM

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It was suggested that we should have a thread for awesome bruise pictures, so I'm taking initiative.

This was already posted elsewhere on the cellar, copied again here to get the ball rolling. This was my pinky toe back in April of this year. Never did take it to a doctor...

Bri, get a picture of that neck of yours before it heals and get it up here for us to ogle!

Clodfobble 10-05-2007 10:52 PM

Crap! Can someone merge the bruise threads, pretty please?

monster 10-05-2007 11:02 PM

haha -you beat me! :p

monster 10-05-2007 11:02 PM

I'll Add my pic to yours and we'll ignore this thread :)

monster 10-05-2007 11:03 PM

oh no, I lied -I posted first! We can still ignore this one, though.....

monster 10-05-2007 11:08 PM

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Ah bollocks, it wouldn't let me upload, even though it was a different thread. So I took the liberty of transfering yours.....

(I did resist the urge to make it a LOLfoot.....)

Clod's poor foot:

monster 10-05-2007 11:10 PM

heehee and now we is merged!

Clodfobble 10-05-2007 11:26 PM

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Originally Posted by monster
(I did resist the urge to make it a LOLfoot.....)

Now why would you do a silly thing like that? By all means, this can and should be an LOLBruises thread. Like so:

monster 10-05-2007 11:31 PM

You need to be in the chat room
seel the loldwellars thread in just two secs.....

DucksNuts 10-06-2007 05:13 AM

monster 10-06-2007 08:17 AM

Ooh, nasty, ducks

DucksNuts 10-06-2007 08:20 AM

What did you do to yours Mon?

Mine was a rampant air hose.

I have to find the ones of my belly after the last car accident I was in.

I'm a bruise pic fan too.

Razzmatazz13 10-06-2007 09:08 AM

That's a stunningly pretty photo of you, bruise or non. :)

Sundae 10-06-2007 10:12 AM

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I told Mum about this thread and she was delighted. She insisted Dad took a picture of my foot "so as not to let the side down"

Glad to hear yours was an inanimate object Ducks, I was almost too scared to ask.

Mine is current - came from standing on the patio table to get Diz off the roof. I'd already tried the chair and couldn't reach him. This made him cry even more and scrambled my brain a little. After all he was in no danger where he was and I could have gone to get the stepladder. Nope, decided to trust my weight to a rickety old table. CRASH! Table collapses and I have to reassure the neighbours that I am just shaken, whilst womanfully blinking back tears.

Got him down of course - the ground rises down the side of the house and I didn't need to stand on anything at all :blush:

It was in its true glory by Thursday afternoon, this is beginning to fade now.

Elspode 10-06-2007 11:52 AM

Fuckin' OUCH! How do you walk with that on the bottom of your foot? Nothing hurts worse than arch injuries.

Sundae 10-06-2007 12:44 PM

Walking is much less painful today. Stairs still really hurt though!

monster 10-06-2007 01:09 PM

Tripped, failed to break fall, hit chin on bottom stair. Seemed fine, iced it, went to bed, got up in morning.......:eek:

monster 10-06-2007 01:11 PM

Still no sign of the bruise on my arse from falling on the ice on Wednesday. I can feel it.... either it ain't going to come out at all, or it's going to be really special....

Sundae 10-06-2007 06:29 PM

Can I say (in a whisper) I love my bruises

I bruise really easily but it also follows that I hurt really easily! I admit I have used them to my advantage after the effect, but what the hell - if it hurt at the time it's fair, right?

(please note I would never use this falsely in a court of law and I hope it never comes back to bite me if I ever genuinely need to!)

monster 10-06-2007 08:12 PM

I bruise really easily, but it doesn't tend to hurt much -half the time i have no idea where they came from. Of course that could be the beer..... ;)

SteveDallas 10-06-2007 09:45 PM

I have none at the moment, but I can throw in this year-old example.

(Disclaimer: Link goes to a single Cellar post. The pic is not itself NSFW, but it was posted in an NSFW thread.)

Elspode 10-06-2007 11:36 PM


Originally Posted by monster (Post 392573)
Still no sign of the bruise on my arse from falling on the ice on Wednesday.

What, its already freezing in Michigan, or is this a hockey injury?

monster 10-07-2007 12:18 AM


Originally Posted by Elspode (Post 392715)
What, its already freezing in Michigan, or is this a hockey injury?

figure skating

zippyt 10-07-2007 01:12 AM

Figures !!

DucksNuts 10-07-2007 07:31 AM

I love my bruises too, SG.

I dont bruise easy, but when I do they are usually pretty good.

monster 10-07-2007 10:54 AM


Originally Posted by Elspode (Post 392715)
What, its already freezing in Michigan

It's 90+ degrees, 70% humidity.... ugh

binky 10-07-2007 08:21 PM

had bone marrow taken from my breastbone once-caused a lovely butterfly shaped bruise all across both breasts-no pics though-pre digital camera era

Griff 10-07-2007 09:08 PM

I had an awesome pre-digital hamstring blowout bruise... I should be able to post some good ones later in the month after I do a Veteran's epee event.

dar512 10-07-2007 11:15 PM

When you post pics please let us know how it got that way - to satisfy our morbid curiosity.

I'm not as young and stupid as I once was. The absolute best/worst bruise I ever had was a doozy on my back-end. I was riding an inner tube thing (not the flying kind) behind a boat. I ski pretty well so I was showing off by standing on the tube. My buddy decided that was a swell time to show me just how fast his boat would go. And then he threw in a demonstration of how tight the turn radius was.

I skipped across the water like a flat rock and I went really far before I finally sank. I was very careful how I sat down for over a week.

monster 10-07-2007 11:35 PM

More pics less chat! Are clod, ducks, sundae and I the only peoply who take pics of their bruises? Y'all are weird. As for giving reasons, I think guessing first is fun......

Aliantha 10-07-2007 11:55 PM

you lot are the weird ones. What kind of a weirdo takes pics of their bruises...unless of course it's to show the police and the courts when you need to show how much damage was done by whoever it was that hit you.

DucksNuts 10-08-2007 12:41 AM

Bruise pics are awesome.

I will dig out some more tonite if I can.

Razzmatazz13 10-08-2007 09:17 PM

I'll leave the mystery here for you guys to guess what these are from.

LabRat 10-09-2007 01:35 PM

hmmm. I must dig up the photos of when my cousin-in-law tried to decapitate me with our jetski. They were taken predigicam too, so I'll post them as soon as I get a chance. Cool thread. If I come across my C-section staple pictures, should I start a staple/stich thread? ;)

glatt 10-09-2007 01:40 PM

It's rather small, but the color is nice. This was a few years ago. Stubbed my toe walking around outside in bare feet.

monster 10-09-2007 01:43 PM

That's quite impressive, Glatt. Are you sure it's not an injury from over-zealous toe sucking? Sheldon?

Cicero 10-09-2007 01:53 PM

I have always felt that sex bruises and scars are the only ones worth showing off....I don't have any....

xoxoxoBruce 10-09-2007 07:34 PM


Originally Posted by Razzmatazz13 (Post 393280)
I'll leave the mystery here for you guys to guess what these are from.

Cash register drawer.

Razzmatazz13 10-09-2007 08:47 PM get injured far more often by "idiot customer swinging board around" or "stupid woman shoving cart into my stomach" than "cash drawer"

TheMercenary 10-10-2007 10:46 AM


Originally Posted by Razzmatazz13 (Post 393280)

I'll leave the mystery here for you guys to guess what these are from.

My wife gets those, but the ones on her arms of my fingers or thumb prints always seem to be worse.:rolleyes:

Razzmatazz13 10-10-2007 11:12 AM

Sex injury? Noooo...guess again

BigV 10-10-2007 11:31 AM

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kerosene 10-10-2007 11:43 AM

Razz, someone stepped on you?! That's terrible! :thepain3:

jester 10-10-2007 12:46 PM

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Not mine, but the boys (football practice).

Attachment 15101

theotherguy 10-10-2007 06:00 PM


OK. So, I think Razz's bruises are from a bar fight with a 3ft midget wielding nothing but a very stale loaf of bread and a non-lethal cat-o-three-tails.

SteveDallas 10-10-2007 06:51 PM

Why three? Is there numerological significance?

theotherguy 10-10-2007 06:54 PM

Nope. I had not noticed I used the number three twice in one sentence (the numbers in this one were on purpose).

Razzmatazz13 10-10-2007 10:32 PM

LOL I was going to tell after the next guess...but now you're all amusing me with responses...guess I'll have to keep it a secret a little longer :D

Flint 10-10-2007 10:54 PM

I think lumberjim's face qualifies as a bruise on the ass of good taste.

lumberjim 10-11-2007 01:36 AM


I'll rochambeaux you.

HungLikeJesus 10-12-2007 05:31 PM

I was once standing by a hydraulic press that broke and was hit in the face by a solid bar of steel - right across the nose and cheek. As far as I remember, that's the only bruise I've ever had. Sorry, but I didn't get any pictures. I didn't consider the possibility that it was an art form.

theotherguy 10-12-2007 05:34 PM

That's what ya get for pissin' off a hydraulic press.

rkzenrage 10-13-2007 02:02 AM

I've got a pic of a real bad one from my angeo somewhere.

Sundae 10-13-2007 05:35 AM

My Dad showed my brother a picture of the bruise on my foot last night. IN CHURCH!

We were there for my niece's confirmation, so Dad had his camera of course. Before the service started he was checking it was all set up (there was a photo op at the altar to stop people taking pics during the service) and he came across it. He was so pleased with himself that neither my brother nor I reminded him that bro had seen the real thing when I was here last weekend.

ZenGum 10-13-2007 09:30 AM


Originally Posted by Razzmatazz13 (Post 393280)

I'll leave the mystery here for you guys to guess what these are from.

1. Attacked by vicious three toed sloth with a penchant for headbutting, said sloth being offended by your apparent lack of belly button. (Where is it, btw?)

2. Playing ultimate frisbee on a mostly-grass field with a few bits of gravel ... dived for the disk, landed awkwardly on the disk leading to stomach bruising, scratches caused by gravel (see, personal experience).

3. Tragic and gruesome photoshop accident.

4. Oversized dog with amorous intent.

5. A small, one-man fighter penetrated the outer defenses, evaded the batteries, flew along this trench here (use your imagination, kiddies) and released proton torpedoes, striking this cooling duct (which explains why she has no navel).

6. Self inflicted for fashion reasons. Goddamn emo kids these days.

Seriously, though: there are sets of vertical scratches and horizontal scratches, so not caused by the same motion of impact. There is one serious bruise and a few lesser bruises. My best guess is you were at a party, had a drink, high-heel gave way and toppled you into a rather spiky shrub. Various scratches from twiggy branches, big bruise from the main impact on the trunk ...
Probably wrong though. How about I come around and kiss them better for you. Wait, you are expired jailbait aren't you?

xoxoxoBruce 10-13-2007 09:53 AM

They aren't scratches.

ZenGum 10-13-2007 10:20 AM


Originally Posted by xoxoxoBruce (Post 394631)
They aren't scratches.

What, then?
Pinches? Welts (a la cat-o-three tails)? Love bites from a duck? What?

Sundae 10-13-2007 11:49 AM

Ahem, stretch marks.

ZenGum 10-13-2007 12:18 PM


Originally Posted by Sundae Girl (Post 394650)
Ahem, stretch marks.

I didn't want to say that.

Apparently I did these (see n00bs thread in cellar meta), I'm sorry Razz. :(

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