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Originally Posted by glatt
They didn't get the memo about that and think they are being kind.
There's also the point that the kids are usually dressing up for some sort of ceremony/event and they actually do clean up pretty well.
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That's just it, the one I saw recently (not my kid) wasn't dressed up. Proud parent stated accomplishments and two thirds of comments never touched on the acheivement -not even "congrats", only physical appearance of child.
If they brushed up well, say "Wow, that's really impressive.....
and look how handsome he is in that suit...." etc. But even then, -especially for girls- reinforcing that how you look at every moment is so important can be very damaging. It's hard to achieve great things if you are worrying about how you look.