Quote:
Originally Posted by Flint
I've always had peaks and dips, but it seems to be on a downward trajectory. I don't know if it's just getting older, or the accumulation of trauma I've been through, but my peaks aren't high enough to be a productive member of society, and my dips are bordering on sabotage. I've been thinking about what I would need to pull me out of this mindset, but in the meantime I don't have enough resilience to weather the challenges. So I'm to the point of just sitting and staring at the wall.
I don't open my mail or pay my bills, I'm late to work every day, I don't have a running car, I've only got a few people I can talk to, and my time to have a good relationship with my children is slipping through my fingers. I'm certain, with good reason, that everyone I know is disappointed in me at best, or outright adversarial at worst.
Thanks for coming to my TED talk!
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Oh Flint, that's a horrible place to be. Do you have a diagnosis/receive any treatment/counselling for your mental health? Even if you are not interested in medication or counseling, you might be able to get FMLA to protect your job while you try to get into a better place (although they do usually require you be be undergoing some kind of treatment program for that, I think). Not ideal, but maybe a starting point. Go see someone next time you have a strong moment. Do it. There will be a way out. We're here for you and are not disappointed in you. And want to help.