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DEAR SIRS
BY GOOD FORTUNE I FOUND YOUR WEBSITE. I AM DOCTOR BUFASTIA KELLINDIKOME FORMER MINISTER OF PETS IN THE NIGERIAN GOVERNMENT. I RECENTLY FOUND A FORGOTTEN PET STORE HERE IN NIGERIA WITH SIXTEEN MILLION (16,000,000) HYENAS AND BABOONS. IF I CAN FIND BY GOD'S HELP AN ASSISTANT TO HELP ME MOVE THESE PETS OUT OF NIGERIA I WILL SHARE THE HYENAS AND BABOONS WITH WHOEVER HELPS ME. I WILL KEEP 65% OF THEM, YOU WILL GET 30% AND 5% WILL GO FOR ANY ADMINISTRATIVE COSTS WE MAY INCUR.
IF YOU CAN HELP PLEASE LET ME KNOW. PLEASE INCLUDE RETURN CONTACT AND BANK ACCOUNT INFORMATON TO ASSIST IN THIS DELICATE TRANSACTION. LOOKING FORWARD TO HEARING FROM YOU SOON.
In all seriousness, though: just what they need in a country with not-terrifically-great health care are pets that can shred you, or literally rip your arm out and beat you to death with it. Lagos, the capital of Nigeria, is noted for being the largest city in the world with no sewer system - 7 million folks the last time I checked. Good luck keeping those wounds clean!
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"Stupidity got us in this mess - why can't it get us out?" -- Will Rogers
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