Oct. 1 - GOD, GOOGLED, EXISTS
59,900,000 Search Results Evidence of Deity, Experts Agree.
In the most conclusive evidence of a Supreme Being ever discovered, a Google™ search of God has proved once and for all that He exists, theologians agreed today.
“To those doubters out there who still don’t believe that God exists, I have just one piece of advice: Google™ Him,” said Dr. George Darlington of the University of Minnesota Divinity School.
The Google™ search of God turned up over 59 million websites featuring Him, a number that theological scholars around the world said makes God’s existence an open and shut case.
The stunning discovery, expected to wipe out atheism worldwide, was made entirely by accident by Jason Blivens, 22, a video-store clerk in Tacoma, WA.
Speaking to reporters today at his home, Mr. Blivens said he meant to do a Google™ search of the word “bod” but accidentally typed the letter “g” instead of “b.” “As soon as those search results came up, I immediately alerted the authorities,” Mr. Blivens said. “I knew this was something big.”
In contrast with the 59 million sites found for God, a Google™ for Satan turned up only 3 million sites, suggesting that God is much more powerful than Satan, as theologians have long argued.
But in a finding that some scholars called worrisome, Paris Hilton turned up on over 3.5 million sites, indicating that the hotel heiress has actually eclipsed the Lord of Darkness as a force for evil.
In a positive development, however, “good” received 178 million search results while “evil” snagged only 17 million, 16 million of those stemming from foreign policy speeches by President George W. Bush.
