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My History teacher in high school was also the French teacher. In addition to her bifurcated educational responsbilities, she was also the Staff weirdo. She claimed, for example, that she had worked her way through college as a prostitute, and she insisted that everyone call her Madame Schwartz...even those not taking French.
One of her favorite historical anecdotes was this: she claimed the French army lost to the Russians because they didn't know how to crap in the snow, and so froze their anuses and died from the subsequent infections.
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"To those of you who are wearing ties, I think my dad would appreciate it if you took them off." - Robert Moog
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