Fat People Doing Jumping Jacks Causes Thunder
One of my favorite passtimes is to occasionally purchase one of these fine newspapers. You gotta keep up with the real news, after all. The tabloids print nothing but truth.
Weekly World News is my favorite. I have for many years followed the adventures of the Alien who visits the White House, and the Batboy. I have a very old clipping from WWN that reminds me how to tell if I have been abducted by aliens. They print critical information that is shunned by the major news agencies. I also think they have the best psychic.
The Sun excels at coverage of haunted appliances, including such gems as "I saw satan in my microwave."
I often regret not having furthered my desire to pursue a career in tabloid journalism, but Florida is just too hot for human existence.
