[OnyxCougar]

FRANCE PROCLAIMS B.O. A NATIONAL TREASURE


By JACQUES BARDOT

It's offical: The French government has officially declared Gallic body odor a "national treasure."

"We're as excited as skunks in an outhouse," says French historian Jean- Pierre Lefevre. "We are proud of our offensive odor. It's way overdue that along with the Eiffel Tower and Notre Dame Cathedral French body aroma is taking its rightful place as one of our country's most important assets."

Luc Beauchamp, 59, has lived in Paris all his life. "France is the most beautiful country in the world," he says. "I stroll along the Champs Elysees and smell the fragrant onions and garlic on the croissants of passersby, combined with the smell that wafts from beneath their arms. To me that is pure heaven. I am alive in France. I stink, therefore I am."

Deodorant salespersons and manufacturers are up to their armpits in grief. "It's not fair," one of them laments. "We came to France to freshen up the stinking masses, but now they pass this national treasure crap. It ain't fair. Worshiping B.O. stinks and so do the French."

Published on: 11/22/2004

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