[mrnoodle]

When I was in college, I was utterly smitten by a girl in one of my journalism classes. We had tons of chemistry, I thought. We'd sit around and talk, flirt across the room, team up for group labs. I finally got the nerve to ask her out (this took more effort than anything I had ever done or have done since - I was completely out of my mind over her) and she said yes.

I spent the remainder of the day hovering about 6 inches off the ground, wondering how life had gotten so good. The next night, when I called to confirm, she cancelled the date, saying she had a boyfriend and didn't want to cheat on him.

Have you ever had all the blood in your body migrate to your face in under a second? It's a singular experience. Damn. That sucked.

I'm not the most resilient person in the world. For a year and a half, everything I did was defined by that single rejection. I dated, but I never really gave anyone a chance. I didn't relate well to people - I figured if I couldn't have my first choice, I wasn't going to give myself emotionally to door #2. I had a lot of one-night stands. Hell, I had several one-hour stands.

My senior year, she reappeared in another class, and tried to start flirting, etc. I couldn't make myself be friends with her. What I did do, in a splendid display of tastelessness, was go out drinking at 11 in the morning with another girl from the same class. By classtime, we were both spectacularly drunk, laughing hysterically and leaning on each other to keep from falling over. I'm sure I looked really cool. I thought I was getting "revenge". Well, at least she didn't flirt anymore...