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Stacey, you sound a lot like me. It's so funny, because I feel like I can relate to you exactly in some areas...like the waitressing thing. I was a waitress for a while and it didn't last for the same reasons you don't want to continue to do it. I use to burst into tears uncontrollably...like a ticking time bomb that I couldn't shut off. It wasn't just waitressing, either. Other jobs, at times of high stress or as a result of an insensitive comment from someone, would cause me to cry, and I would try and hide and not let anyone know I was crying. It was like this curse that kept me from functioning "normally". I would think "how can all these other people function normally, and I cant?" "What is wrong with me?" I figured out that I am just highly sensitive. Simple as that. I try and surround myself with other sensitive people, too. It helps a lot. I try and use my passions and sensitivity to its advantage...like with art, music and other things that allow me self expression. I quit my "good paying" "respectable" job, got rid of extra bills, got out of the industry I was in, moved into half the space I had before, and enrolled in school at CU (University of Colorado) studying fine arts. I love it, because I feel like I fit in. The kids in school are all about 10 years younger than me (I am almost 28). But, I don't care as much as I thought I would. In some classes, I am a loner and people look at me in my pink hair and weird clothes like I am a freak. In some classes, I have made one or 2 friends. But, overall, the experience has been amazing, so far and I have drawn an immense amount of inspiration from everything around me, because I can now allow myself to let that "oversensitive" part free. I don't cry much anymore. I don't get down on myself much, either. I am learning to live everyday as a gift and an opportunity to explore more of myself and the world I see. I hope that helps a little bit, maybe...maybe not. I just thought I would relate my recent story and try and give a different perspective.
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