[kerosene]

*Sigh*

Well, I guess it is time to give you all the update. My delay in posting to this thread has probably given away, in part, what the outcome was.

No, we weren't successful in getting the children out of bf's ex's influence, but we did manage to make a little progress:

The judge ruled that the move would be permitted. Part of her reasoning had to do with our choice to move to Boulder for school (1 1/2 hours from kiddo's grandparents' house) and part of it, I believe, was due to the judges past experience as a single mother. But some of the benefits of the ruling included the way the judge expressed her concern about the influences of the ex's family and the ex's noncholant attitude about her daughter's performance in school and attendance record. She repremanded the whole family on her side of the room, while they were all sitting there. She told them their behavior was disgusting and these children should never EVER be put in the middle of a situation like they have. She expressed to the ex that she never should have allowed the children to be in the presence of people who were making those kind of remarks about their father and didn't support his role. She also gave bf the entire summer, all spring breaks, and every other winter break with the children, as well as scheduled times to call them throughout the weeks they are with the ex. I didn't get to be there for the whole thing, since I was a witness, but I heard all about how bf's lawyer made the ex read portions of countless emails she sent threatening bf. I heard that she couldn't finish reading them, it was so bad. Her whole self-righteous family was denounced and she was "publically" embarassed. She ruled that whenever the kids are with their mom, visiting Colorado, bf has first right of refusal and is allowed to have additional parenting time for the length of the visit. That goes for any and all visits she makes to Colorado, period. One more thing, the judge said that if she hears of any more absences in school that are excessive, she will not hesitate to bring the children back to Colorado (judge's words).

So, here was my take on all that: It was disappointing for the judge not to have put much weight on the ex's inability to put the needs of her children before her own. But, this was not a custody hearing, it was a move-away hearing and the ex stated in the beginning of the hearing that if she was not permitted to bring the children to Texas with her, she would not move to be with her husband. I am sure the judge would have assumed she would continue to live with her parents where the crux of the emotional problems in that family lie. Add that to a long distance marriage and a lost battle with bf, and I am sure the judge realized the emotional repercusions to the children while with mom. As for the visits to Colorado, we are pleased as punch that anytime the ex wants to come visit her parents, bf can prevent their influence by exercising his parenting time for the duration of the visit. Also, like I said, the judge had raised her children by herself and was new to family law, as she had been a public defender for many years prior to becoming a judge. So, yeah, some of that may have been reasons for such a shocking outcome, but we are not giving up.

We have started a log (which we should have done a long time ago). Everything that occurs between bf and his kids or his ex is getting recorded with dates and times. I am doing the recording for him to help him out. Everytime he calls the children, it gets logged. Everytime the ex makes a comment in front of the kids that the judge would consider inapporpriate for the children to hear, we log it. This week and next, we have the kids, because they are still in Colorado and the little girl is not in school, because of spring break. Ex didn't call tonight on her scheduled night, so we are logging it. EVERYTHING is getting logged.

The other side's reaction? As one might expect. They heard the judge say the move was permitted, but must have been plugging their ears for the rest of it. Bf's daughter asked him if he had to go talk to a judge with mommy, after her grandfather had explained the whole court process to her(completely inappropriate, IMO). BF talked with ex's father the other night to ask him not to talk about the courts to his daughter and was told that the ex was now going to a "home life" and the kids will have a "real father". He was told the grandfather would continue to explain all of that to bf's daughter because "she should know that an authority is allowing her mother to move to Texas", etc. This is all getting logged too. We are being supportive and positive to the children about the move, though, since we don't want them to feel like they are disappointing dad. We have come up with some neat ways to stay involved with them (videos, webcam, letters, etc.) The ex denies what the judge has said about the influence on the kids, and refuses to address any of bf's concerns about the kids. We will be ordering the judge's transcript for our records and usage. We are preparing for the next battle, because the war is not over yet. At least, in the meantime, the kids are going to be better off than they would have been without a court hearing, out of their grandparents' house and never to have that influence forced upon them. Let's hope the psycho can handle being in a world without her parents within a day's drive, unless, of course, she comes back to Colorado.