The Pope is on a feeding tube. Just wait for the Cardinals start to argue over the removal of the feeding tube. This could be more fun that
The Surreal Life.
Cardinal 1:
The pontiff told me in private he doesn't want a feeding tube to stay alive.
Cardinal 2 (with Bill O'Reilly in tow): Everyone would obviously want to live, and I heard him say "I vant"... clearly that was the beginning of a statement meaning that he wants to live.
Cardinal 1:
The Pope wants to die in a dignified manner.
Pope:
Hey, I'm still alive here
Cardinals1and2 and O'Reilly:
Shut Up, You! we're holding a very serious debate over your wishes...
Pope: oh fuck it, get me a gun.