The Cellar - View Single Post - Serious Question......What do women really want in a serious relationship?

kerosene · 04-25-2005, 04:35 PM

I agree with most of what OC said. The part about wanting to be treated like crap is sort of subjective. I think there are those women out there...most women are probably like that. The other portion of women are those who want to be able to control every aspect of you. I do think, though, that as a woman gets older, she starts to understand herself a little better thus, having a better idea about what they want/need in a relationship, beyond all the relationship "games" that plague those in their early to mid twenties, or longer.

Silver, I think what you need to figure out is what YOU want/need in a relationship. Know who you are. Know what your passions are. Once you know what you want, you can have a clearer picture of what a relationship might be like in another 6 months, 6 years, whatever. Be upfront with the women you date. It may be scarey to do that, but trust me, many women will appreciate direct honesty. If you don't want to change who you are, if you want to seek a deeper relationship, if you feel like there are things that might be problematic in the relationship, talk about it directly. One of the things that turns me off in men is the inability to speak directly. When a man hedges around subjects, uses protection mechanisms to keep from talking about something, hides or feels afraid to trust me after a few months, I take that as a red flag. Learn to be open. It is scarey, but gains respect with many of us.

If you can see yourself changing with your mate, if you don't have any little things you hope will change about them, when you feel like your mate is you best friend, but you just can't stop getting turned on by them, that might be when you know you have found the right one (IMO, anyway).

04-25-2005, 04:35 PM	#10
kerosene Touring the facilities Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: The plains of Colorado Posts: 3,476	I agree with most of what OC said. The part about wanting to be treated like crap is sort of subjective. I think there are those women out there...most women are probably like that. The other portion of women are those who want to be able to control every aspect of you. I do think, though, that as a woman gets older, she starts to understand herself a little better thus, having a better idea about what they want/need in a relationship, beyond all the relationship "games" that plague those in their early to mid twenties, or longer. Silver, I think what you need to figure out is what YOU want/need in a relationship. Know who you are. Know what your passions are. Once you know what you want, you can have a clearer picture of what a relationship might be like in another 6 months, 6 years, whatever. Be upfront with the women you date. It may be scarey to do that, but trust me, many women will appreciate direct honesty. If you don't want to change who you are, if you want to seek a deeper relationship, if you feel like there are things that might be problematic in the relationship, talk about it directly. One of the things that turns me off in men is the inability to speak directly. When a man hedges around subjects, uses protection mechanisms to keep from talking about something, hides or feels afraid to trust me after a few months, I take that as a red flag. Learn to be open. It is scarey, but gains respect with many of us. If you can see yourself changing with your mate, if you don't have any little things you hope will change about them, when you feel like your mate is you best friend, but you just can't stop getting turned on by them, that might be when you know you have found the right one (IMO, anyway).