I think the problem is not how you view the girl, BigV, but how you view handcuffs. To you, handcuffs are an indication of a crime, and a harsh and painful restraint. To others, handcuffs don't carry the same emotional baggage, and are completely equivalent to holding the child in a bear hug, or restraining them in a strait jacket, or wrapping their arms at their sides with SaranWrap.
The point is restraint, and you've already said you agree with the bear hug as a means of restraint. The only difference is that in a bear hug, the restrainer has the chance of being injured, and can't effectively move the child, say to another classroom, or a squad car, or anywhere away from the situation that started the tantrum.
Hypothetically, if a child had to be restrained and moved out of the room at the same time, how would you do it? What if you had a medical stretcher with straps and leather restraints for the wrists and ankles, would you feel comfortable using that? Can you think of any method of restraint other than a bear hug that you would be comfortable with?
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