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Wow, it strikes me that since you're in the northeast, a place like Belmar is actually closer to you than the southern beaches.
Most Phillly-area people head to the beaches between AC and Cape May, because traditionally the beaches north are taken by the north Jersey-ites, but during the week it's all up for grabs. Also because between trashy Seaside Heights (go once on a Saturday night just for fun) and AC, Long Beach Island is more private.
There have been doctoral theses (thesises?) written about the different and evolving personalities of all the Jersey beach towns.
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