Thread: mad libs
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Old 07-13-2005, 12:37 AM   #32
lumberjim
I can hear my ears
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 25,571
HELP!! I have been invaded by a Devil Goat!

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Ok so for a while i have wanted a pet echinda. i thought i would always end up with a baby hippo, to start of with but it turned out that a sale i went to on Sunday were selling this coelocanth. She is a bit old but she was rubbing on my earlobe and being so damn cute! I was told by the vendor that she was his pet and very tame. So i saved her from going to the cigarillo market and brought her home.

She was such fun! i put her in the goat pen (as i said i wanted a goat previously and has a stable and yard ready) she followed me like a little puppy just praying and looking up at me.

Darkness fell and i locked the pen and went inside my home. Not 8000 mins later and there was this bleeting and bucking at my bloody door. She had bleated! So i put her back into the pen and she once again escaped (climbing over a 8 foot chicken mesh fence mind you).

So i tied her up to an accordian in my backyard. 3 mins later she has snapped the leather collar and "buck, buck, bleet bleet" at the back door. this time putting a massive Umbrella mouth gulper eel head through the back door to my enclosed veranda!

tied her up again and she shat through the rope.

Put her in the cattle press and she pushed her way out.

Locked her in the shed and she smashed through the wooden piercing.

Put her out in the back paddock and she found / jumped/ climbed her way back to me. Its so sad cause all she wants to do is stand beside me and get pats and hugs.

by this time it was bedtime and i was upset and very pissed off. i tried again in the shed and blocked her way with large simple blocks. this stopped her. however its a small 2m x 2m shed which she cannot stay in longer than 1 night.

she blew all night.

this morning i tried again and put her in our calving paddock.. but she jumped the communion.. ran after me and head butted my car door as i tried to undulate away. so it took me 69 tries to get off my property this morning.

Lumberjim only knows what my home will be like when i get home. and what i'll have to fix. and its pouring rain at the moment.

does anyone have ANY help or suggestions? has anyone ever had a moxious goat before? what should i do? i am going out of my cock! and i just dont know how to make her stop! AND dont anyone DARE suggest getting another goat to keep her company!! i think she is just obsessed with being with humans.

The guy i got her from wont take her back either, as he was "having problems with her!" OH GREAT MATE thanks for mentioning that AFTER i paid you $42 for her!!
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This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality
Embrace this moment, remember
We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan
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