Sounds pretty dreadful, Onyx. By time they're 17, about all you can do with them is the "tough love" thing. Call the cops on them if they rip off your car or money; make them find another place to live if they're not going to school/work and then pray.
You are right. At 12, there is still hope, especially if you can keep them away from bad influences of which your ex sounds to be one. Aspie = Aspger's? My poor dear! You DO have your hands full!
How come the ex gets to have HIS financial convenience at YOUR expense? That drive doesn't sound like an inexpensive one.
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