The Cellar - View Single Post

06-26-2002, 02:30 PM

Well, there are two questions you have to ask yourself before you do anything like this. They are:

"What is it that I really want out of this?"

and

"What am I willing to live with?"

There is an employee here at work that cheats on his timecard. It's illegal, and he knows it. It's also morally wrong. I feel as though I should bring it up with my boss. It's also exceptionally difficult for me to do so. I know that it's the right thing to do, but am I willing to live with getting someone fired? I don't know, and it's a tough question to answer. I should go to my boss, and I probably will... but it's difficult.

There was also an issue at school a few years back. My sister and I went to school in Carroll County, Maryland. It's not filled with hicks, and it's getting better... but back then, it was pretty tough to be different at all.

I was pretty different, but not so much that I was harrassed daily. I had long hair and only one eye, so I was on the receiving end of a number of derogatory marks... but nothing like my sister had to deal with.

Jen went through a number of phases in high school. One can only guess that she was trying to find herself. She wasn't what you would call a "trendhopper"... it's probably most accurate to say that she changed a lot while going through high school.

Well, throughout much of her freshman, sophomore and junior years, she was into wearing all black... Marilyn Manson shirts... lots of face makeup. Not what we called a "Manson kiddie" but not in the "in" crowd either.

She was constantly harrassed. Spit on. Called names every day. All because she was different.

I decided one day to wear my hair in pony tails. Thursday, December 3, 1998. About a third of the way into my senior year.

From the moment I got to school, I started hearing it. "Fucking faggot." "Queer." "He looks like a fucking girl." "Homo."

I arrived to my first class about 5 minutes late, namely because the teacher had asked me to do something and I had agreed. As I entered the classroom, it erupted with laughter. Pony tails are the funniest thing, apparently. It took a good minute for the laughter to die down. I sat at my desk and the girl beside me asked "Why did you wear your hair like that?" My teacher seconded the question - "Yeah, David. Why?"

My reply went mostly like this:

"Because we, as a society, have a tendency to laugh at and make fun of and ostracize those who are different. We poke fun at those who are unconventional. You all ridicule the rednecks for being racist, but you're no better. You're no better. You walk down the hallway and laugh at the special-ed student, but you're no better than they are. You're no better. You laughed at me when I walked into this room. Why? Because I'm different. My sister is different. She's unconventional. She doesn't "fit in". She's been laughed at and pointed at and spit on. We sit back and encourage that by laughing along with them. But we are no better. We are no better. I did this for everyone who's been laughed at or made fun of or killed for being different. I did this for my sister."

Of course, that pretty well shut them up. For the rest of the day, I answered the "Why did you wear your hair like that?" with "Why do you wear your hair like that?" and it seemed to work pretty well. A few days later, one of the girls in my first class came to me and said "You know, I went home last week and cried after I thought about what you said. You were right... and I don't think I'll ever be able to make fun of someone because they're different again. Thank you."

Vicky is one of two people from high school that I still talk to.

06-26-2002, 02:30 PM	#2
dave Guest Posts: n/a	Well, there are two questions you have to ask yourself before you do anything like this. They are: "What is it that I really want out of this?" and "What am I willing to live with?" There is an employee here at work that cheats on his timecard. It's illegal, and he knows it. It's also morally wrong. I feel as though I should bring it up with my boss. It's also exceptionally difficult for me to do so. I know that it's the right thing to do, but am I willing to live with getting someone fired? I don't know, and it's a tough question to answer. I should go to my boss, and I probably will... but it's difficult. There was also an issue at school a few years back. My sister and I went to school in Carroll County, Maryland. It's not filled with hicks, and it's getting better... but back then, it was pretty tough to be different at all. I was pretty different, but not so much that I was harrassed daily. I had long hair and only one eye, so I was on the receiving end of a number of derogatory marks... but nothing like my sister had to deal with. Jen went through a number of phases in high school. One can only guess that she was trying to find herself. She wasn't what you would call a "trendhopper"... it's probably most accurate to say that she changed a lot while going through high school. Well, throughout much of her freshman, sophomore and junior years, she was into wearing all black... Marilyn Manson shirts... lots of face makeup. Not what we called a "Manson kiddie" but not in the "in" crowd either. She was constantly harrassed. Spit on. Called names every day. All because she was different. I decided one day to wear my hair in pony tails. Thursday, December 3, 1998. About a third of the way into my senior year. From the moment I got to school, I started hearing it. "Fucking faggot." "Queer." "He looks like a fucking girl." "Homo." I arrived to my first class about 5 minutes late, namely because the teacher had asked me to do something and I had agreed. As I entered the classroom, it erupted with laughter. Pony tails are the funniest thing, apparently. It took a good minute for the laughter to die down. I sat at my desk and the girl beside me asked "Why did you wear your hair like that?" My teacher seconded the question - "Yeah, David. Why?" My reply went mostly like this: "Because we, as a society, have a tendency to laugh at and make fun of and ostracize those who are different. We poke fun at those who are unconventional. You all ridicule the rednecks for being racist, but you're no better. You're no better. You walk down the hallway and laugh at the special-ed student, but you're no better than they are. You're no better. You laughed at me when I walked into this room. Why? Because I'm different. My sister is different. She's unconventional. She doesn't "fit in". She's been laughed at and pointed at and spit on. We sit back and encourage that by laughing along with them. But we are no better. We are no better. I did this for everyone who's been laughed at or made fun of or killed for being different. I did this for my sister." Of course, that pretty well shut them up. For the rest of the day, I answered the "Why did you wear your hair like that?" with "Why do you wear your hair like that?" and it seemed to work pretty well. A few days later, one of the girls in my first class came to me and said "You know, I went home last week and cried after I thought about what you said. You were right... and I don't think I'll ever be able to make fun of someone because they're different again. Thank you." Vicky is one of two people from high school that I still talk to.