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You are married when you decide you're married. The ring, the license, the ceremony, are all symbols. Don't ever mistake a symbol for the thing it symbolizes.
You are legally married if you can get two witnesses to testify that you presented yourselves in public as husband and wife. A page from a family bible or a signed guest list is all the documentation you need for any court in the country, but verbal testimony is enough. No license is required. In some states the license is officially described as a three way contract between the bride, the groom, and the state.
Your name is anything you say it is. The driver's license bureau doesn't care if you have a marriage license, or a court order, or nothing at all, as long as there is no apparent attempt at fraud. They simply record all the names you have ever used. (Some of the clerks don't know that.)
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