[Elspode]

Thirty-two years ago, I was a 17-year old high school senior, headed for my first apartment and a taste of what unfettered life had to offer. My girlfriend at the time was a Sophomore, 16 years old, slim as a rail, bright, cute, the child of very forward-thinking parents who had been around the world with the Air Force. I was really, really full of myself, having been a chubby kid who blossomed in my teen years, suddenly finding myself with a lot of unsolicited interest from a variety of young ladies and not handling it very well. I wasn't used to the attention, and apparently thought I was all of that and a bag of chips to boot. My ego couldn't have been hauled in a Terex Titan dump truck.

We dated for almost a year, and toward the end of our relationship, I impregnated Liz. She and I, with her parent's total and unflagging support, agreed that abortion was the best option, and it proceeded normally. It was only a couple of months afterward that I met someone else, and rather unceremoniously dumped Liz.

I was a jackass, and to this day, it is one of the most hurtful things I've ever done to another person. I was utterly selfish and not very kind about it. I've spent years trying to be a better person, largely because of this immature slight I dealt to a person who seriously did not deserve such treatment. I knew that the guy who did that was not the guy I wanted to be for the rest of my life.

Yesterday, when I got home from work, I found in my mailbox a letter from Liz. I opened it with much trepidation, expecting to have my head taken off in some angst-clearing salvo, which I undoubtedly would deserve, even after all these years (I literally have had *no* contact of any kind with her since 1975). To my surprise, it was a thoroughly pleasant "hi", a brief update of her status in life, and a few pictures from back in the day thrown in to bring a fond smile to my face.

Things like this always throw me for a loop. Believing as I do that things happen for a reason, and coming closely on the heels of hearing from my father for the first time in many years, I am now a bit scrambled, and looking for a clue. I sent Liz an exceedingly brief email of appreciation *and* apology, explaining that I felt like I owed her a great deal of contrition for having been an immense jerk. The email was brief enough that I would like to follow up with some catchup.

I guess what I'm looking for here is this: my wife carefully and lovingly explained to me that no happily married woman looks up old boyfriends and contacts them out of the blue, so I need to watch my ass (Liz describes herself as married to a musician in LA, Liz having had a career as a very successful stage lighting designer, a career which I helped set her upon as my lighting assistant back in high school).

She really was one of my favorite people from my youth, and I really would like to have some contact with her, but I recognize that there is some truth in what Mrs. Elspode tells me. So...what says The Cellar? Is it harmless for me to communicate with Liz, or should I just leave it at "thanks for the pics?" and avoid any possible danger or muddying of the current marital pond that might occur? And has this situation ever arisen for any of you all? What did you do?