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BigV · 02-06-2006, 01:42 PM

Joe, the bartender, has been watching Ben, the barfly, try to attract the attentions of a woman in the bar. Ben has decided that, absent flowers, candy was the ticket. He hails Joe and says (with some ambition, it appears),

"Joe, Joe, I want a bucket of chocolate daquiris! A BIG one!" and slaps the bar for emphasis.

Joe replies, "Ben, we ain't got no chocolate."

Ben only understands the general sense that he didn't get what he wanted, so he tries again, "Joe, come on, just give me a pitcher of chocolate daquiris. Hurry!".

Joe's frustrated that while Ben's whole attention is on the woman at the end of the bar, he still has to deal with his demand, minus Ben's higher thought processes. "Ben, we ain't got no fucking chocolate! Understand?!"

Ben is trying to be reasonable, but Joe is not cooperating. He turns, finally, to Joe and asks as clearly as he can, "Joe, please, can I have two chocolate daquiris, one for me and one for her?"

Ben is finally relieved to have the remains of Ben's attention and looks him in the eye and says, "Joe, can you spell the VAN in vanilla?"

"What? Shit. Sure. V-A-N."

"Good. Can you spell the STRAW in strawberry?"

Big sigh. "S-T-R-A-W."

"Great, Ben. Can you spell the FUCK in chocolate?"

"What?! I'm just trying to get a drink here! There ain't no FUCK in chocolate!"

"That, you idiot, is what I'm trying to tell you. There AIN'T NO FUCKIN' CHOCOLATE!"

02-06-2006, 01:42 PM	#716
BigV Goon Squad Leader Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Seattle Posts: 27,063	Joe, the bartender, has been watching Ben, the barfly, try to attract the attentions of a woman in the bar. Ben has decided that, absent flowers, candy was the ticket. He hails Joe and says (with some ambition, it appears), "Joe, Joe, I want a bucket of chocolate daquiris! A BIG one!" and slaps the bar for emphasis. Joe replies, "Ben, we ain't got no chocolate." Ben only understands the general sense that he didn't get what he wanted, so he tries again, "Joe, come on, just give me a pitcher of chocolate daquiris. Hurry!". Joe's frustrated that while Ben's whole attention is on the woman at the end of the bar, he still has to deal with his demand, minus Ben's higher thought processes. "Ben, we ain't got no fucking chocolate! Understand?!" Ben is trying to be reasonable, but Joe is not cooperating. He turns, finally, to Joe and asks as clearly as he can, "Joe, please, can I have two chocolate daquiris, one for me and one for her?" Ben is finally relieved to have the remains of Ben's attention and looks him in the eye and says, "Joe, can you spell the VAN in vanilla?" "What? Shit. Sure. V-A-N." "Good. Can you spell the STRAW in strawberry?" Big sigh. "S-T-R-A-W." "Great, Ben. Can you spell the FUCK in chocolate?" "What?! I'm just trying to get a drink here! There ain't no FUCK in chocolate!" "That, you idiot, is what I'm trying to tell you. There AIN'T NO FUCKIN' CHOCOLATE!" __________________ Be Just and Fear Not.