I get to post this cuz I'm a girl!
:p Hormones
The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a
man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his very life into his own hands!
This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's
license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or significant other!!
DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?
SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.
DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that?
SAFER: Gee, you look good in brown.
SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.
DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
SAFER: What did I do wrong?
SAFEST: Here's fifty dollars.
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.
DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.
DANGEROUS: What did you do all day?
SAFER: I hope you didn't overdo it today.
SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe!
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some more chocolate.
Some Things PMS Stands For:
Pass My Shotgun
Psychotic Mood Shift
People Make me Sick
Provide Me with Sweets
Pardon My Sobbing
Pitiful Mood Syndrome
Plainly Men Suck
Pack My Stuff......
. ..And my favorite one...
Potential Murder Suspect
And remember: Money talks...but chocolate sings.
My friend's husband, not happy with her
mood swings, bought her a mood ring the other day so he would be able
to monitor her moods. When she's in a good mood, it turns green. When
she's in a bad mood, it leaves a big red mark on his forehead. Maybe
next time he'll buy her diamonds.
Here have some chocolate.
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