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oh my god *tears *
I can only feel.
You are seeing things from multiple vantage points and I would say that they are either just hiding feelings of insecurity too or that they just plain have thick cow hide as skin.
Seeing things from this vantage point you have can feel vulnerable. Do not let your feeling dictate your self worth. You are more than your intellectual, spiritual awknowlegement.
My son. He sounds so much like you. I've had to teach him to not look in the faces of other people to find worth. To accept other people who maybe less intune or even stupid.
He is teaching himself the guitar. I am a wannabe poet. Something to funnel all that into and make it something beautiful.
When you focus on that instead you'll feel glad you are different?? On a different level that is. Prehaps artistically inclined. Are you an artist?
I wish I could say more but I have to go to work. Yes, there is alot of people who feel like you more often than not.
Maybe you are too young to appreciate Rush but their lyrics keep comming into my mind.
Limelight
Living on a lighted stage
Approaches the unreal
For those who think and feel
In touch with some reality
Beyond the gilded cage.
Cast in this unlikely role
Ill-equipped to act
With insufficient tact
One must put up barriers
To keep oneself intact.
Living in the limelight
The universal dream
For those who wish to seem.
Those who wish to be
Must put aside the alienation,
Get on with the fascination,
The real relation,
The underlying theme.
Living in a fisheye lens,
Caught in the camera eye.
I have no heart to lie
I can't pretend a stranger
Is a long-awaited friend.
All the world's indeed a stage
And we are merely players:
Performers and portrayers,
Each another's audience
Outside the gilded cage.
I feel lame at times too. Like now trying to help and feeling ineffectual.
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