[Cyclefrance]

Brianna stopped suddenly. Hang on, she thought, where's my sign-off music??? Oh! there it is - it's dropped into the next entry. Could be a problem…, but I'm sure that nice Mr Cyclefrance will let me in .... oh - coooeee...!

UT was surprised to see Brianna aboard his vessel, He was sure that she had actually set to sail on Capt. Kit's ship. Still stranger things had happened at sea. He'd always had a soft spot for Bri, in any case. And long before old Soonie came on the scene.

Brianna sidled up to him seductively (at the same time managing unnoticeably to retrieve the gramophone record from the previous entry that had become wedged in the sail rigging. Hmm The Sailor’s Hornpipe. Probably not what I’m thinking it is anyway, she thought – and with that she slipped it into her handbag - all in one deftly and surreptitiously executed move - clever girl!)

'Speak to me, UT. Pleeeease say something - it's been such a long time.'

Ut turned towards Brianna, was about to speak to her, but then noticed some slimy substance on his trouser leg: 'My God! How on earth did that muck get there - it's all over my trousers... and look at my shirt, covered in grime from the rigging... and, and, and… and now I've got black all over my hands as well...'

'Ooooh, UT!' exclaimed Brianna. 'I just love it when you talk dirty!!'

‘Really, Bri, do you ever think of anything else but se…. no, on second thoughts, forget I said that. Look, old girl, I haven’t much time right now. Bit of a battle about to start – over there just behind us. Capt Kit, I have no doubt - I can tell by the flag he’s flying – the Skull and crossbones over a bottle of Bacardi 151 Gold. Where on earth does he get the stuff from?’

Brianna blushed. ‘I’m sorry UT, That was my fault. Although the job of loading it all on board was down to my manservant, Flint – he carried it all. And, actually, I wasn’t going to give Kit any Bacardi Gold to begin with, but Flint kept going on, and on and on, using all those long words and everything,. There was no escape, and I just HAD to get rid of him somehow, and it seemed the best thing to do. I mean he’s not the sort of person you can ignore once he gets going is he. Anyway, it was the very, very, extra strong stuff, so, actually, I think you should thank me, so there!’

‘Thank you? THANK YOU?? Why should I do that???’

‘Well, just look at them. They hardly seem to be going in a straight line now, do they? And it’s not as if they’re sailing against the wind, or anything…’

This Brianna knows a bit more about sailing than meets the eye, thought UT. And sure enough, as he looked, Capt Kit’s ship was slewing this way and that, and not presenting so much of the danger that it first appeared it might. Maybe it wouldn’t do to shoot him out of the water in his state, especially as Brianna was on board as well.

Plan B, thought UT: ‘Hold the cannon me hearties! We’re going alongside and board the ship! Take all the crew, officers and Capt Kit prisoner, clap ‘em all in irons, and throw in the hold!’

And with that the good ship under UT’s command, the Flossie Jetsam hove to alongside the other vessel, the Bacardi Breezer.

Hidden behind the wheel listening to all this crouched a small annoying figure muttering to himself: ‘Well I wouldn’t have used a smilie if I’d been the cabin boy – colored text would have done fine. Sending me across like that, like I’m some sort of errand boy. The indispensability of someone so uncharacteristically intelligent as I clearly escapes her. Not that I’m being sarcastic or anything, I mean if you look at what I’ve just said it’s really very humorous. Well, I’m not going to change anyway, so there! Ooo-err! what’s happening?’

Flint found himself rotating at 78 revolutions per minute. He’d managed to knock the start button and, as a result of his rapid rotation, he quickly tumbled from the platform on which he had been sitting – the deck of the gramophone. This obstacle removed, the needle came down and started playing the disk that was there: ‘Dizzy, I’m so dizzy. I’m so dizzy I’m spinning round…’

‘That’s not funny,' said Flint – oh, dear...wrong again….