[Trilby]

I'm a damn poor substitute for wolf and I know it, but, some (SOME) suicides DO bang a few warning gongs. Typical of teenagers is giving away things that meant a lot to them, sudden happiness or energy after being 'down in the dumps', listening to morose music (I know, that's a hard one as most of them listen to this stuff regardless of mental state), saying things like, "well, tomorrow it won't matter that ______ broke up with me," increase in risky behaviors and suicide 'try-outs'--esp. true for girls who may be cutting themselves. You'll see hesitation cuts, etc. in weird places. That said, some suicides never let on AT ALL that anything is wrong. They go about their lives, they're 'normal' kids, not into drugs, booze, etc., and then, one morning, you find them hanging in the garage. I think keeping the lines of communication open--open, open, open, is KEY. You have to let them know that no topic is off limits to discuss. When my 16 year old son broke up with the love of his life he was very, very down. We worried about him and I did ask him if he felt like hurting or killing himself. He told me yes, he had considered killing himself. We got him to a doctor PRONTO, he was put on zoloft for about 6 months with talk therapy and he is ok today. (This was about two years ago)--and he now knows that the topic of suicide is NOT verboten. His father and I will not shrivel up and freak out if he brings this up. Same with drugs, alcohol, sex. Let them know you are aware. Let them know they can say ANYTHING to you. One caveat: Once they know they can talk about anything with you and you won't judge, they WILL open up. My younger son came to me once and said, "well, mom, I just masturbated for the first time!" that was a bit cringe-worthy, but! it WAS an opportunity to talk about sexuality! Be there for her, BigV. I bet you are a wonderful father. I know you are.