[Crimson Ghost]

Originally Posted by xoxoxoBruce

C'mon...spill it. You must tell us that story...yes, you must.

Well, if I must.

-- I preface this story with the fact that my oldest brother was a Catholic priest. --

I was about seven or eight years old.
My mother dragged me to my brothers church in Brooklyn (St. Martin de Porres) because the Archbishop was going to be there.
I was suffering the effects of salmonella - my mothers cooking left everything to be desired.
A kid, in a car for an hour, going somewhere he didn't want to go, while trying not to erupt with explosive diarrhea is not a pretty sight.
When we got there, I ran to the first unlocked bathroom I could find.
It happened to be in the office.
Said office was lacking in toilet paper.
I reached into the closet and grabbed what I thought was a towel.
It wasn't.
I found out later that I had wiped with what was the Archbishops chasuble. (The chasuble is the outermost liturgical vestment worn by clergy for the celebration of the Eucharist.)
Not only was it the Archbishops chasuble, he had gotten it blessed by the Pope when he was in Rome.
Needless to say, I was informed that I was a "fucking cunt-rag" by the unhappy owner of this garment.
Oh well.
Sucks to be him.