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From a woman's point of view, I think a bad lay is anyone that you feel lousey about yourself for sleeping with afterwards. I've been with guys who were great in bed, but I wanted to die when I woke up next to them. Then I've been with guys who were not so great in the technique area, but I was still happy as a lark afterwards.
A good lay is when you feel good after you did it with the person.
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