The Cellar - View Single Post - How You Become Prey to a Charmer/Abuser-Part 1

MsSparkie · 07-06-2006, 08:55 PM

Thanks Brianna. That information was important for me to learn. The other part was that when involved with an addict (my ex was an alcoholic) that if you aid them in any way so they can keep using, you are an "enabler". I learned that word in Al-Anon....the AA group for families of alcohics.

They insisted that if you are handling the problems of their addictions for them, the complications, making sure that the damage they do to their lives, jobs, family, health, etc. are aided by you so it's not so devasting for him/her, then you are an "enabler" and are participating in their addiction. You must turn your back on them, let them lose their jobs, their health, their lives if so be, but let them suffer the consequences of their actions, without leaning on you and smothering you with their problem with no respect or appreciation. I could go on and on.....

It's about being "co-dependent".

A blind doormat.

Makes me upset to remember those days. If only I had known what I was doing. If I had not been a child of alcoholics.

But, whew! I know it all now.

Could never happen again.

:-)

07-06-2006, 08:55 PM	#3
MsSparkie Curious Sagittarius Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Toronto, Canada Posts: 302	Thanks Brianna. That information was important for me to learn. The other part was that when involved with an addict (my ex was an alcoholic) that if you aid them in any way so they can keep using, you are an "enabler". I learned that word in Al-Anon....the AA group for families of alcohics. They insisted that if you are handling the problems of their addictions for them, the complications, making sure that the damage they do to their lives, jobs, family, health, etc. are aided by you so it's not so devasting for him/her, then you are an "enabler" and are participating in their addiction. You must turn your back on them, let them lose their jobs, their health, their lives if so be, but let them suffer the consequences of their actions, without leaning on you and smothering you with their problem with no respect or appreciation. I could go on and on..... It's about being "co-dependent". A blind doormat. Makes me upset to remember those days. If only I had known what I was doing. If I had not been a child of alcoholics. But, whew! I know it all now. Could never happen again. :-) __________________ ~There is a forest in an acorn...... Last edited by MsSparkie; 07-06-2006 at 09:01 PM.