[footfootfoot]

Here's the rough draft of my conspiracy theory, get out your big canvases class, we'll be using the BIG brushes today.

So let's see, how many years have the 'Mericans 'ad the Tour de France?

Many, you say. there was armstrong and then that guy Lemond (actually an American, he was just messing with the collective franco noggin.)

So the Froglets have had just about enough of this American international bullying and they are going to get their silver plated water bottle or whatever chalice it is that the winner gets, back.

A few krugerrands in the right hands and anything can happen, heck. If someone wanted, they could take a DNA sample and prove that Landis is the father of Michael Jackson.

(Please read Terry Southern's "The Magic Christian" for examples of this type of scheme in action. For the lysdexics among us you can also see the film of the same title starring Peter Sellers and Ringo Starr)

Cliff notes:
Frogs want the race back in any hands but ours.
Someone in the long chain of events slips Landis a mickey.
Doubts are cast upon L's integrity, and he is put on the defensive.
Subsequent test results can also be manipulated as needed.

Finally, do you hear us pissing and moaning about not having won the America's Cup in so long that we sold the mantle it used to sit upon for architectural salvage?

It would be really easy for seakdivers to weld some kind of special keel on the winner's boat and we could claim cheating...

But no. We're not sore losers.

/crazy talk