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Old 08-23-2006, 12:27 PM   #11
Undertoad
Radical Centrist
 
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Cottage of Prussia
Posts: 31,423
On 9/12/2001, W. placed phone calls to all the leaders in the Islamic world.

Pakistan:

W: Hi Perv, obviously we've got a new approach this morning. We have many aircraft carriers steaming towards your area. I have two questions. First, who is your new God?
Musharraf: You are.
W: Correct! And who is my new bitch?
Musharraf: That would be me.
W: You have answered the questions correctly. Those carriers will be there for another country.

Saudi Arabia:

W: King! Long time no talk to buddy.
Abdullah: We have the names and information on all the gentlemen who participated in this terrible scheme.
W: Thanks! Hey, do you have any opinions on where we should put our airbases permanently? I know you don't like them there, but see, we need 500-mile radius to all the trouble zones in the area, and no overflight worries. That means either either Turkey, Iraq, or you. You've got Mecca and Medina so obviously that ain't happening. Do you mind if we take out Hussein?
A: Well, it's a bitch, but we know sometimes these assholes just have to go. As long as it helps keep the Persians in check, go ahead.
W: Great. And we'll try to address that Palestinian thing too.
A: Inshallah, I don't really give a crap.

Afghanistan:

W: Mullah Omar, if you want any more poppy money we need to come in and take out Osama now.
O: Fuck you and the goat you rode in on.
W: OK, we will consider your proposal. We will deliver a response when we're ready. It'll take about a month.
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