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6. Men's fashion/clothes stores.
(I'm male, hetro, 32, 5'10" 83kg and wholly un-remarkable)
I went clothes shopping on Saturday. I haven't really done any serious clothes shopping for a couple of years, just a few bits and pieces here and there. Either times have changed dramatically, or I'm getting old and ludicrously unfashionable, cause this was not like anything I've seen before.
Firstly there are the vacuous, waifish, underfed, metrosexual, "half-fruit", wearing-their-little-sister's-jeans, androgynous shop assistants who either ignore you completely (ie "you're too old and un-fashionable to be in here, sir") or fawn unashamedly over you in such a way as to be completely unbelievable in every single thing they say ("oh wow!! like you look gr8 in that!!! Hay Taylaha, like, doesn't he look like, egr8 in that shirt?! like aw wow!!"). And why does the dance music have to be so loud that YOU HAVE TO SHOUT LIKE AN IDIOT TO ASK ANYONE ANYTHING?
And then there's the clothes themselves - When did men* start wearing "Slim Fit" shirts? When did "plain" start meaning "slightly-fewer-stripes-and-logos-than-everything-else"? And why do I need to wear shirts with the name of some American university I've never been to on the front? Why do many of these shirts have so many badges and other bits of stuff stuck on them as to resemble a three year old's collage art? And isn't wearing some huge made up logo for some product/thing/place that doesn't exist even worse than wearing a logo for something that does? Surely they're not trying to be ironic - those vacuous little twerps wouldn't know irony if it hit them in the head.
Yes, I know, it really is just me getting old, unfashionable and grumpy.
...somebody give waif-boy a sandwich - he looks like he's gonna pass out.
*as opposed to: vacuous, waifish, underfed, metrosexual, "half-fruit", wearing-their-little-sister's-jeans androgynous shop assistants.
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