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Originally Posted by mrnoodle
You live in your mom's house rent-free, so she wants you to live by house rules. You can't do housework because of back injuries from a car wreck (but sex is apparently strain-free  ). You have already totalled at least one car ("If this last accident...." indicates plural accidents) and don't know how you're going to pay for the new insurance expense, etc.
So you should ask yourself some more questions before you decide.
1) who's going to clean the new house?
2) when you have a house of your own, are you going to have expectations of the people who live there with you?
3) if you can't make it financially now, how will you make it if your expenses are trebled?
4) do you really want to take "how to live on your own" lessons from your boyfriend? Didn't he just move back with his parents?
There will be good rent deals later, too. Think long and hard about whether this is the right time for you. There are a lot more factors in this decision than just cutting the apron strings from your mom. |
1) i currently live with my mom, brother, dad, 3 dogs and a cat...cleaning up after that many is a lot harder than cleaning up myself...which I normally do.
2) i will have expectations and i would have us set up a list of the specific expectations and responsibilities of each...a written contract (my boyfriend would be included of course)
3) I can "make it" finacially now...i've saved up quite a bit of money...which will be used to pay for my new car :-(, was used for the computer I bought for the house, and i use my paycheck to buy food, gas, and household goods all the time w/out asking for compensation. I would prefer this method because there will be less strain on my finances...and by that time i should have either a promotion or atleast another payraise from work, the rest of my pell grant and atleast some of the money from my student loan.
4) My boyfriend rented a house from his sister who decided after she broke up w/ her boyfriend of ten years and got another a month later...that she wanted the house for herself...although she never spends time there....
the plan had been for my boyfriend and I to rent the house for 500 each plus half of the other expenses and we were actually working on a contract for that when she made this decision...he only had a month to month lease w/ her. Sooo it being so close to the school semester he decided it would be best to return to his parents since he didn't have time to find a new place ect ect...
The first accident I had happened late at night on my way home from work, two way road, one lane going each way...I saw something in the middle of the road, it was a curve I couldn't see around so instead of getting into a the potential head-on I stopped...the truck behind me had been tailing me (with his brights on!) and hit me going about 30-40 mph
The second accident happened a couple of weeks ago on my way to school, my road empties onto a 2 lane hwy with a turn lane inbetween...I was turning left...there was no one from that direction...the other side was almost clear so I made the decision to enter the turn lane and so that I could move over after the vehicles passed (its a legal move) a semi rock truck decided about the same time that he was going to use that lane to pass ppl in (blatantly illegal) and I ended up smashing into his rear tire. They should rule it as a his-fault accident. I mentioned the insurance because there is a possibility (thanks to the crappy police reports) that the insurance won't rule that way.
I don't pay an actual rent true...but as I mentioned I do provide for myself and if others use my stuff...well i let them. I clean often just not as much as my mother wishes me too. And I only have sex on my good days, which isn't after a day of school and then immediatly to work where I am constantly on my feet, walking around, reaching, lifting ect...so in other words...not very often.
"Cutting the apron strings" an interesting expression...Since I was 12 I have been mostly looking after myself...for two years my mother was in and out of the hospital w/ medical problems and even she admits she wasn't very useful then, (she can hardly remember those yrs!). Afterward, and now she is involved with full time work and church. She is hardly home (and does little cleaning herself!) and is normally doing her own thing...sometimes the only time I see her is at night (10:30 to 11:30) after I get home from work and the only exchange w/ her is "goodnight."
I'm not attacking your argument at all, in fact they all help me alot because it allows me to re-think things I might have forgotten about. Or since they are all issues I have addressed and mostly come up with a solution too...it helps validates my feelings. Thankyou all...keep helping plz!