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Just Jumpin' In
Okay, so for those of you who don't know, I'm ElSpode's wife. I've had a membership on here for years, but hadn't logged in for a couple due to the fact that I believe this is his space and his extended family. I don't like to tread on that, so I don't buzz in here often.
However, Els told me that he had posted about our newest arrangement and I couldn't stop myself from reading what he had written, and subsequently, what all of you had to say. In doing so, I thought that I should put a few things straight from my own point of view. Don't know that this will clear up anything, but might at least give a differing outlook for some of you.
I love Els more than anything. He is my life, and I adore him. I find him sexually stimulating and enjoy our intimate times together. However, that is the rub. It seems that although I know he loves me dearly, Els has a pretty difficult time finding me stimulating enough just on my own. For the past five years, we have had intimate contact a total of 10 times prior to this past month. Those 10 times only occurred after much begging, crying, pleading and threats of leaving. No woman wants to feel that undesirable.
After several discussions about how this might be resolved, I was informed by my husband that I alone was not enough to get his libido up. That, in fact, what he needed was outside stimulation in the form of either myself or himself having an affair outside of the marriage. Just talking about it this past month has increased the intimate contact between us and thus proving his point. Therefore, I have agreed to enter into a poly situation, although quite frankly what we are doing is not poly...rather it is an open marriage. Poly is where you are actually building family and Els is not interested in that.
Please understand, I'm not unhappy with my husband, I just want more physical intimate contact. That does not equate to direct intercourse for ME, however, it does for him. Thus, I am limited by what he is willing to do or not do. I am, quite frankly, tired of living like a nun, especially when I have always been an extremely sexual person. Would I be happy to only have sex with my husband....you bet. However, since he claims that's not an option, I'm doing what I can here to save our marriage.
I have laid all my cards on the table. I have explained in detail EXACTLY what I want and in what way and how it feels good or doesn't....and it ain't happening. XOXOBruce....Dear, Els is quite a prude actually...he likes it meat and potatoes and nothing inbetween. Even though our sexual styles have always been extremely different, I've always been more than willing to put aside my more spicey tastes, but when you only get to eat a couple of times per year, you get AWFULLY hungry.
I love Els very, very much....and I hope that this will improve things between us. But at this point, I'm feeling personally rather undesirable, and knowing that it takes another woman to get my husband interested enough that he wants to do me at all, is a pretty tough blow. So, hopefully, someone out there will be interested in me...so far, not having much luck on my end of things.
I'll hang out a little to answer any other questions anyone might have. I don't, however want to intrude on Els personal space.
Selene
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