A few in relatively standard American usage have been, uh, altered by my exposure to another dwellar ...
"Useless as tits on a left-handed monkey" and "Come Hell, high water, Hitler, or the Second Coming of Christ" are two of the most memorable.
"Sucks moose cock" is one of my own.
I've been trying very hard to come up with some more of these, but I think because they are in such common usage, that I don't even consider that they are typically American phrases.
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