[mrnoodle]

Some of these are southern, some aren't. I don't know which are which anymore. Levels of humor also vary....

"She looks like a bag of cats headed for the river"

"If he was playing for syrup, he wouldn't get a sop"

"He smelled so bad he'd knock a buzzard off a gut wagon"

Bodacious (I've only ever heard it used in reference to food, but it has other connotations apparently).

"You look like the frazzled end of hard times"

"You look like the morning after the night before" (for hangovers)

"He's all hat, no cattle"

"He doesn't have the sense God gave a billy goat."

"You make a better door than a window" (you're blocking my view)

"What, do I look stupid?" (or "What do I look, stupid?" -- never knew how to phrase it right) -- this always sounds like it should be said with a Brooklyn accent, to me.

"Get off your high horse"

"Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me"

"You writing a book? Leave that chapter out" -- when asked a prying question.

"If you had dynamite for brains, you wouldn't have enough to blow your nose"