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slang · 12-15-2002, 01:50 AM

Dear Santa,

I have been somewhat good this year. I was not arrested or sued and I helped a baby bird survive a fall out of the tree out back. That shows improvement , which I am certain you have noticed. I do understand though I may be on both of your "naughty" and "nice" lists. I hope I have enough credits to make a request.

My friend Sycamore sent you a letter about a week or so ago. He's a liberal pussy, but I hope you at least read his letter. I saw a copy of the letter he sent you and he wants some pretty tough to find items for Christmas. He also wrote that he had been good but didn't really define what good is, that's your call. Anyway, I have an amendment for his list and I thought you might be too busy this late in the season to actually check up on things.

We both know that a good firearm makes the perfect gift. This is where you come in. I know the BATF frowns on people giving out weapons without documentation. Maybe you could give Sycamore a gift certificate for a handgun. It wouldnt have to be a great big manly gun, just something to grow a little hair on his chest. Something he may be able to raise some cash with, you know, until he finds the job he wants. I thought you might leave a gift certificate instead of the other material things he put on his list. This would also be a lot easier on you and the reindeer. Leave him something he will always remember and own (until the feds confiscate all firearms) with pride.

I also wanted to apologize for not apologizing much earlier about the little incident last year. When the silent alarm went off I was startled. Before I remembered it might be you, I'd already dumped a clip. You move pretty quick for an old guy too I might add. I tried to catch up with you on the roof, but you were already gone by the time I got up there. I sincerely regret shooting at you and not apologizing. It was a poor choice of reactions and was insensitive and I am very sorry. I grew up in an environment that condoned policies and views that we now know were wrong and immoral, and I repudiate them. It is my hope that you will understand that this was a mistake of my trigger finger and not my heart. This year of you decide to visit again I will have the alarm off, the dogs caged up, and a big pile of cookies for you. Again, I am sorry and apologize for not regretting that I didnt apologize for the lack of an apology.

Slang

12-15-2002, 01:50 AM	#7
slang St Petersburg, Florida Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 3,423	Dear Santa, I have been somewhat good this year. I was not arrested or sued and I helped a baby bird survive a fall out of the tree out back. That shows improvement , which I am certain you have noticed. I do understand though I may be on both of your "naughty" and "nice" lists. I hope I have enough credits to make a request. My friend Sycamore sent you a letter about a week or so ago. He's a liberal pussy, but I hope you at least read his letter. I saw a copy of the letter he sent you and he wants some pretty tough to find items for Christmas. He also wrote that he had been good but didn't really define what good is, that's your call. Anyway, I have an amendment for his list and I thought you might be too busy this late in the season to actually check up on things. We both know that a good firearm makes the perfect gift. This is where you come in. I know the BATF frowns on people giving out weapons without documentation. Maybe you could give Sycamore a gift certificate for a handgun. It wouldnt have to be a great big manly gun, just something to grow a little hair on his chest. Something he may be able to raise some cash with, you know, until he finds the job he wants. I thought you might leave a gift certificate instead of the other material things he put on his list. This would also be a lot easier on you and the reindeer. Leave him something he will always remember and own (until the feds confiscate all firearms) with pride. I also wanted to apologize for not apologizing much earlier about the little incident last year. When the silent alarm went off I was startled. Before I remembered it might be you, I'd already dumped a clip. You move pretty quick for an old guy too I might add. I tried to catch up with you on the roof, but you were already gone by the time I got up there. I sincerely regret shooting at you and not apologizing. It was a poor choice of reactions and was insensitive and I am very sorry. I grew up in an environment that condoned policies and views that we now know were wrong and immoral, and I repudiate them. It is my hope that you will understand that this was a mistake of my trigger finger and not my heart. This year of you decide to visit again I will have the alarm off, the dogs caged up, and a big pile of cookies for you. Again, I am sorry and apologize for not regretting that I didnt apologize for the lack of an apology. Slang __________________ FTFF