Thank you everyone for the condolences! I keep sending out my love to him just in case there is someplace after death he is frolicking in.
The one thing that keeps me believing in heaven is that I will see my pets one day even if it is just some fabrication of a dying brain.
He was so scared and in pain. It is a very haunting memory. I felt so powerless.I could offer no comfort. When I would talk to him he would talk back in little whimpers. I don't know what he was trusting me for when all I could do was to end it for him. I have alot of guilt over that.
now that has got me grieving again
I miss him so.